Podcast

If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes

Author: If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes
Feed episode count: 201
Official site: https://shows.acast.com/eyes
RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc
JSON: /v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633
Markdown: /podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633.md

Summary

Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episodes

Sep 7, 2026 · not_requested

Richard "Dick" Pants

Duration seconds: 2960
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Aug 31, 2026 · not_requested

Bikini Couch and the Upside-down Car

Duration seconds: 3434
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Aug 24, 2026 · not_requested

Guest House of Mouse

Duration seconds: 3449
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Aug 17, 2026 · not_requested

The Full Nightbane

Duration seconds: 3649
Source: https://patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Aug 10, 2026 · not_requested

The Great White Off 2026

Duration seconds: 3275
Source: https://patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Aug 3, 2026 · not_requested

Driving Week

Duration seconds: 3131
Source: https://patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jul 27, 2026 · not_requested

Normal Week

Duration seconds: 3496
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jul 20, 2026 · not_requested

Smooth Week

Duration seconds: 2977
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jul 13, 2026 · not_requested

Teen Week

Duration seconds: 3271
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jul 6, 2026 · not_requested

Week Week

Duration seconds: 3248
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jun 29, 2026 · not_requested

Who Domed Buzz Lightyear?

Duration seconds: 3037
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jun 22, 2026 · not_requested

Ep. 187 Bonus: Drunken Wolverine Ninja Kung-Fu: The Home Game

Duration seconds: 1589
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jun 22, 2026 · not_requested

Horse of the Year

Duration seconds: 3293
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jun 15, 2026 · not_requested

Aaahh!!! Real Judo

Duration seconds: 3385
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jun 8, 2026 · not_requested

Til Death Do You Straight

Duration seconds: 3355
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jun 1, 2026 · not_requested

Hails or Teads

Duration seconds: 3401
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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May 25, 2026 · not_requested

ABC vs NBC: Mark of the Millennium 2001

Duration seconds: 3386
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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May 18, 2026 · not_requested

The Scions of the Tool Man

Duration seconds: 3095
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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May 11, 2026 · not_requested

Pastor Princess

Duration seconds: 3301
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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May 4, 2026 · not_requested

Reconstruction Indicator

Duration seconds: 3228
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Apr 27, 2026 · not_requested

All Women Are Related

Duration seconds: 3928
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Apr 20, 2026 · not_requested

Hiding Under Desks Was Better Than This

Duration seconds: 3477
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Apr 13, 2026 · not_requested

1-900-SMUT-BUSTERS

Duration seconds: 3416
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Apr 6, 2026 · not_requested

John's Razors

Duration seconds: 3085
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Mar 30, 2026 · not_requested

The Wilt Chamberlain of Elevators

Duration seconds: 3551
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Mar 23, 2026 · not_requested

Fix Your Back or Die

Duration seconds: 3945
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Mar 16, 2026 · not_requested

Spoonworthy

Duration seconds: 3286
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Mar 9, 2026 · not_requested

Michael Tiddes

Duration seconds: 3358
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Mar 2, 2026 · not_requested

The Andrew Dice Clay Episode

Duration seconds: 3761
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Feb 23, 2026 · not_requested

On This Week’s 'The Pitt'

Duration seconds: 3602
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Feb 16, 2026 · not_requested

The Duggler

Duration seconds: 3334
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Feb 9, 2026 · not_requested

The Janitor at Munger Hall

Duration seconds: 3483
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Feb 2, 2026 · not_requested

The Spider That Lives in My PlayStation

Duration seconds: 3573
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jan 26, 2026 · not_requested

Why Aren’t I the Limbo Queen?

Duration seconds: 3255
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jan 19, 2026 · not_requested

Erogenous Jones

Duration seconds: 3414
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jan 12, 2026 · not_requested

Betty Boop Ideas

Duration seconds: 3718
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Jan 5, 2026 · not_requested

Mouth Heaven

Duration seconds: 3598
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Dec 22, 2025 · not_requested

League of Extraordinary Smiths

Duration seconds: 3482
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Dec 15, 2025 · not_requested

The Big Loud Fox Jumps Over the Crazy Straw

Duration seconds: 3297
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Dec 8, 2025 · not_requested

P15S 4G

Duration seconds: 3704
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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Dec 1, 2025 · not_requested

Michael’s Milk: Welcome to Dairy

Duration seconds: 3129
Source: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

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