# Michael’s Milk: Welcome to Dairy

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/michael-s-milk-welcome-to-dairy
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/michael-s-milk-welcome-to-dairy.md
Podcast: [If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes](https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633)
Published: 2025-12-01T08:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving
Audio file: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/e/692648d1caf6efa70383cb5e/media.mp3
Processing state: not_requested
JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/michael-s-milk-welcome-to-dairy
Duration seconds: 3129

## Resource

John, merritt and Michael are still legally allowed access to microphones (for now), and thus the show continues unabated, despite his best efforts. This week's topics of discussion include Uncrustables, an important clarification regarding Michael's Milk™, Kirby's secret origins, John's secret to huge numbers, mad cow disease, butt chugging, childhood trauma (unrelated), and despite pressure from our lawyers, somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes , a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson , merritt k and John Warren , and produced by Jordan Mallory , with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz . Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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## Transcript

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