# 1-900-SMUT-BUSTERS

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/1-900-smut-busters
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/1-900-smut-busters.md
Podcast: [If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes](https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633)
Published: 2026-04-13T07:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving
Audio file: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/e/69d9ac3faf4db69e0d21184b/media.mp3
Processing state: not_requested
JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/1-900-smut-busters
Duration seconds: 3416

## Resource

John, Niki and merritt pause their Smut-Busting activities to refocus on more pressing matters, which include (but are not limited to) Shrek 5, the new "patched' Whopper ® from Burger King (Home of the Whopper ® ), leaving important voicemails for important people, the burgers they got on the space station, HEB(!!!!), dating Shaboozey and, somehow, even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes , a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson , merritt k and John Warren , and produced by Jordan Mallory , with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz . Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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## Transcript

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