{"podcast":{"title":"If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes","slug":"if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633","podcast_index_feed_id":5734633,"rss_url":"https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc","website_url":"https://shows.acast.com/eyes","image_url":"https://assets.pippa.io/shows/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/1666330465616-950eb33974233fdf9629f24594d85039.jpeg","author":"If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes","episode_count":185,"summary":"Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.","last_synced_at":null,"page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633"},"episode":{"title":"The Big Loud Fox Jumps Over the Crazy Straw","slug":"the-big-loud-fox-jumps-over-the-crazy-straw","published_at":"2025-12-15T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-big-loud-fox-jumps-over-the-crazy-straw","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","audio_url":"https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/e/693ca1989278bf5c1c66055a/media.mp3","summary":"With merritt aboard the International Space Station, John and Niki hold down the fort by talking about typesetting, sports jokes I didn't understand, the #1 Maryland Food Podcast™, sad stories about old dogs, the lamp you jerk off, off-gassing, and despite our best efforts, somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes , a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson , merritt k and John Warren , and produced by Jordan Mallory , with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz . Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.","meta_description":"With merritt aboard the International Space Station, John and Niki hold down the fort by talking about typesetting, sports jokes I didn't understand, the…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":3297,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/the-big-loud-fox-jumps-over-the-crazy-straw/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-big-loud-fox-jumps-over-the-crazy-straw.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}