{"podcast":{"title":"If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes","slug":"if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633","podcast_index_feed_id":5734633,"rss_url":"https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc","website_url":"https://shows.acast.com/eyes","image_url":"https://assets.pippa.io/shows/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/1666330465616-950eb33974233fdf9629f24594d85039.jpeg","author":"If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes","episode_count":185,"summary":"Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.","last_synced_at":null,"page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633"},"episode":{"title":"P15S 4G","slug":"p15s-4g","published_at":"2025-12-08T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/p15s-4g","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","audio_url":"https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/e/693380315054592eda89f424/media.mp3","summary":"Finally reunited after No Niki November, the gang wastes no time dissecting a new docket of topical issues facing today's youth, including Frank Sinatra, The Meat Zone, Michael's Milk, doorbells, crimeable acts, earbuds, blood vessels, battery-powered trash cans, and with the power of 1,000 suns, somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes , a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson , merritt k and John Warren , and produced by Jordan Mallory , with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz . Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.","meta_description":"Finally reunited after No Niki November, the gang wastes no time dissecting a new docket of topical issues facing today's youth, including Frank Sinatra,…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":3704,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/p15s-4g/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/p15s-4g.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}