{"podcast":{"title":"If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes","slug":"if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633","podcast_index_feed_id":5734633,"rss_url":"https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc","website_url":"https://shows.acast.com/eyes","image_url":"https://assets.pippa.io/shows/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/1666330465616-950eb33974233fdf9629f24594d85039.jpeg","author":"If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes","episode_count":201,"summary":"Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.","last_synced_at":"2026-09-07T14:18:38.998723+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633"},"episode":{"title":"The Great White Off 2026","slug":"the-great-white-off-2026","published_at":"2026-08-10T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-great-white-off-2026","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633","url":"https://patreon.com/ifyouredriving","audio_url":"https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/e/6a78e216769f96ab453d06b7/media.mp3","summary":"Could this be the final White Off ever??? Is this the longest Gimmick Month in If You're Driving history?????? To answer these questions and many more, please listen to the episode. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes , a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson , merritt k and John Warren , and produced by Jordan Mallory , with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz . Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.","meta_description":"Could this be the final White Off ever??? Is this the longest Gimmick Month in If You're Driving history?????? To answer these questions and many more, pl…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":3275,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/the-great-white-off-2026/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-great-white-off-2026.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}