{"podcast":{"title":"If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes","slug":"if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633","podcast_index_feed_id":5734633,"rss_url":"https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc","website_url":"https://shows.acast.com/eyes","image_url":"https://assets.pippa.io/shows/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/1666330465616-950eb33974233fdf9629f24594d85039.jpeg","author":"If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes","episode_count":201,"summary":"Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.","last_synced_at":"2026-09-07T14:18:38.998723+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633"},"episodes":[{"title":"Richard \"Dick\" Pants","slug":"richard-dick-pants","published_at":"2026-09-07T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/richard-dick-pants","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":2960,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/richard-dick-pants/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/richard-dick-pants.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Bikini Couch and the Upside-down Car","slug":"bikini-couch-and-the-upside-down-car","published_at":"2026-08-31T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/bikini-couch-and-the-upside-down-car","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3434,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/bikini-couch-and-the-upside-down-car/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/bikini-couch-and-the-upside-down-car.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Guest House of Mouse","slug":"guest-house-of-mouse","published_at":"2026-08-24T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/guest-house-of-mouse","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3449,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/guest-house-of-mouse/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/guest-house-of-mouse.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"The Full Nightbane","slug":"the-full-nightbane","published_at":"2026-08-17T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-full-nightbane","url":"https://patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3649,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/the-full-nightbane/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-full-nightbane.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"The Great White Off 2026","slug":"the-great-white-off-2026","published_at":"2026-08-10T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-great-white-off-2026","url":"https://patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3275,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/the-great-white-off-2026/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-great-white-off-2026.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Driving Week","slug":"driving-week","published_at":"2026-08-03T09:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/driving-week","url":"https://patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3131,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/driving-week/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/driving-week.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Normal Week","slug":"normal-week","published_at":"2026-07-27T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/normal-week","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3496,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/normal-week/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/normal-week.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Smooth Week","slug":"smooth-week","published_at":"2026-07-20T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/smooth-week","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":2977,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/smooth-week/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/smooth-week.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Teen Week","slug":"teen-week","published_at":"2026-07-13T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/teen-week","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3271,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/teen-week/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/teen-week.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Week Week","slug":"week-week","published_at":"2026-07-06T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/week-week","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3248,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/week-week/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/week-week.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Who Domed Buzz Lightyear?","slug":"who-domed-buzz-lightyear","published_at":"2026-06-29T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/who-domed-buzz-lightyear","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3037,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/who-domed-buzz-lightyear/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/who-domed-buzz-lightyear.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Ep. 187 Bonus: Drunken Wolverine Ninja Kung-Fu: The Home Game","slug":"ep-187-bonus-drunken-wolverine-ninja-kung-fu-the-home-game","published_at":"2026-06-22T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/ep-187-bonus-drunken-wolverine-ninja-kung-fu-the-home-game","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":1589,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/ep-187-bonus-drunken-wolverine-ninja-kung-fu-the-home-game/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/ep-187-bonus-drunken-wolverine-ninja-kung-fu-the-home-game.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Horse of the Year","slug":"horse-of-the-year","published_at":"2026-06-22T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/horse-of-the-year","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3293,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/horse-of-the-year/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/horse-of-the-year.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Aaahh!!! Real Judo","slug":"aaahh-real-judo","published_at":"2026-06-15T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/aaahh-real-judo","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3385,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/aaahh-real-judo/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/aaahh-real-judo.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Til Death Do You Straight","slug":"til-death-do-you-straight","published_at":"2026-06-08T20:16:29+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/til-death-do-you-straight","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3355,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/til-death-do-you-straight/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/til-death-do-you-straight.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Hails or Teads","slug":"hails-or-teads","published_at":"2026-06-01T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/hails-or-teads","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3401,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/hails-or-teads/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/hails-or-teads.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"ABC vs NBC: Mark of the Millennium 2001","slug":"abc-vs-nbc-mark-of-the-millennium-2001","published_at":"2026-05-25T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/abc-vs-nbc-mark-of-the-millennium-2001","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3386,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/abc-vs-nbc-mark-of-the-millennium-2001/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/abc-vs-nbc-mark-of-the-millennium-2001.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"The Scions of the Tool Man","slug":"the-scions-of-the-tool-man","published_at":"2026-05-18T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-scions-of-the-tool-man","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3095,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/the-scions-of-the-tool-man/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-scions-of-the-tool-man.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Pastor Princess","slug":"pastor-princess","published_at":"2026-05-11T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/pastor-princess","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3301,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/pastor-princess/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/pastor-princess.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Reconstruction Indicator","slug":"reconstruction-indicator","published_at":"2026-05-04T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/reconstruction-indicator","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3228,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/reconstruction-indicator/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/reconstruction-indicator.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"All Women Are Related","slug":"all-women-are-related","published_at":"2026-04-27T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/all-women-are-related","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3928,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/all-women-are-related/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/all-women-are-related.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Hiding Under Desks Was Better Than This","slug":"hiding-under-desks-was-better-than-this","published_at":"2026-04-20T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/hiding-under-desks-was-better-than-this","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3477,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/hiding-under-desks-was-better-than-this/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/hiding-under-desks-was-better-than-this.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"1-900-SMUT-BUSTERS","slug":"1-900-smut-busters","published_at":"2026-04-13T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/1-900-smut-busters","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3416,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/1-900-smut-busters/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/1-900-smut-busters.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"John's Razors","slug":"john-s-razors","published_at":"2026-04-06T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/john-s-razors","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3085,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/john-s-razors/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/john-s-razors.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"The Wilt Chamberlain of Elevators","slug":"the-wilt-chamberlain-of-elevators","published_at":"2026-03-30T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-wilt-chamberlain-of-elevators","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3551,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/the-wilt-chamberlain-of-elevators/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-wilt-chamberlain-of-elevators.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Fix Your Back or Die","slug":"fix-your-back-or-die","published_at":"2026-03-23T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/fix-your-back-or-die","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3945,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/fix-your-back-or-die/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/fix-your-back-or-die.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Spoonworthy","slug":"spoonworthy","published_at":"2026-03-16T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/spoonworthy","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3286,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/spoonworthy/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/spoonworthy.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Michael Tiddes","slug":"michael-tiddes","published_at":"2026-03-09T07:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/michael-tiddes","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3358,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/michael-tiddes/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/michael-tiddes.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"The Andrew Dice Clay Episode","slug":"the-andrew-dice-clay-episode","published_at":"2026-03-02T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-andrew-dice-clay-episode","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3761,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/the-andrew-dice-clay-episode/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-andrew-dice-clay-episode.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"On This Week’s 'The Pitt'","slug":"on-this-week-s-the-pitt","published_at":"2026-02-23T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/on-this-week-s-the-pitt","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3602,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/on-this-week-s-the-pitt/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/on-this-week-s-the-pitt.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"The Duggler","slug":"the-duggler","published_at":"2026-02-16T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-duggler","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3334,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/the-duggler/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-duggler.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"The Janitor at Munger Hall","slug":"the-janitor-at-munger-hall","published_at":"2026-02-09T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-janitor-at-munger-hall","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3483,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/the-janitor-at-munger-hall/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-janitor-at-munger-hall.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"The Spider That Lives in My PlayStation","slug":"the-spider-that-lives-in-my-playstation","published_at":"2026-02-02T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-spider-that-lives-in-my-playstation","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3573,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/the-spider-that-lives-in-my-playstation/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-spider-that-lives-in-my-playstation.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Why Aren’t I the Limbo Queen?","slug":"why-aren-t-i-the-limbo-queen","published_at":"2026-01-26T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/why-aren-t-i-the-limbo-queen","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3255,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/why-aren-t-i-the-limbo-queen/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/why-aren-t-i-the-limbo-queen.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Erogenous Jones","slug":"erogenous-jones","published_at":"2026-01-19T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/erogenous-jones","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3414,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/erogenous-jones/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/erogenous-jones.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Betty Boop Ideas","slug":"betty-boop-ideas","published_at":"2026-01-12T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/betty-boop-ideas","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3718,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/betty-boop-ideas/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/betty-boop-ideas.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Mouth Heaven","slug":"mouth-heaven","published_at":"2026-01-05T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/mouth-heaven","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3598,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/mouth-heaven/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/mouth-heaven.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"League of Extraordinary Smiths","slug":"league-of-extraordinary-smiths","published_at":"2025-12-22T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/league-of-extraordinary-smiths","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3482,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/league-of-extraordinary-smiths/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/league-of-extraordinary-smiths.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"The Big Loud Fox Jumps Over the Crazy Straw","slug":"the-big-loud-fox-jumps-over-the-crazy-straw","published_at":"2025-12-15T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-big-loud-fox-jumps-over-the-crazy-straw","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3297,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/the-big-loud-fox-jumps-over-the-crazy-straw/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/the-big-loud-fox-jumps-over-the-crazy-straw.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"P15S 4G","slug":"p15s-4g","published_at":"2025-12-08T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/p15s-4g","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3704,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/p15s-4g/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/p15s-4g.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]},{"title":"Michael’s Milk: Welcome to Dairy","slug":"michael-s-milk-welcome-to-dairy","published_at":"2025-12-01T08:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/michael-s-milk-welcome-to-dairy","url":"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving","duration_seconds":3129,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/michael-s-milk-welcome-to-dairy/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/michael-s-milk-welcome-to-dairy.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}]}