# Hails or Teads

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/hails-or-teads
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/hails-or-teads.md
Podcast: [If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes](https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633)
Published: 2026-06-01T07:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving
Audio file: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/e/6a1a100af7ef7759589ebb7e/media.mp3
Processing state: not_requested
JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/hails-or-teads
Duration seconds: 3401

## Resource

This week merritt, John and Niki do an extended Star Wars goof (I don't think any of these spoilers are real, but who can say, really? I sure as shit didn't watch that movie), before moving on to greener, less celestial pastures, including any date between 2000 and 2010, a specific guy running for governor of California, and somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes , a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson , merritt k and John Warren , and produced by Jordan Mallory , with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz . Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

## Actions

- request_transcript: `POST https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/episodes/hails-or-teads/transcription-requests` — Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode.
- read_markdown: `GET https://stenobird.com/podcast/if-you-re-driving-close-your-eyes-5734633/hails-or-teads.md` — Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource.

A page view does not enqueue transcription. Agents should invoke `request_transcript` explicitly when they need this episode processed.

## Transcript

Full transcripts are not published on public pages unless there is a clear rights basis.