Episode
281. Why Self-Sufficient Women Are Still Codependent ft. Esin Pinarli
- Published
- Jul 6, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 3757
- Processing state
not_requested- Canonical source
- https://findingmrheight.com/podcast
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Summary
Esin Pinarli, a psychotherapist with 18 years of experience, joins Ali to talk about people-pleasing, attachment, and what she calls modern codependency. Esin breaks down the unspoken childhood contracts we sign without realizing it, and how codependency shows up today in high-achieving, self-sufficient women who would never picture themselves as the "lost yourself in a relationship" type. The conversation also includes a refresher on the four attachment styles and the wheel of attachment, the anxious-avoidant dance, deactivating strategies, and how you actually earn your security over time through small, repeated choices. In Updates, Ali survives a brutal New York heat wave and starts a new running list with Skyline: bars that have way better food than they deserve to have, kicking things off with Abe's Pagoda in Bushwick. This week's Media Mention is creator Sam Showalter (@thesam_show on TikTok), whose series on decentering her husband tied in perfectly to the conversation about modern codependency. Sam’s video Ali mentions Where to find Esin: On Instagram @esinpinarli_lcsw and at www.eternalwellnesscounseling.com . Timestamps: Esin joins us at around minute 17. Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . Thanks to this week’s partners: Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Our Sponsors: * Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries:…