{"podcast":{"title":"Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast","slug":"finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663","podcast_index_feed_id":3584663,"rss_url":"https://feeds.redcircle.com/a358dd62-56fe-49b1-8b63-b71555a5932b","website_url":"https://redcircle.com/shows/finding-mr-height-the-podcast","image_url":"https://media.redcircle.com/images/2025/5/12/16/4ee396ec-7358-4a21-be29-afcdbd727969_7ed1dcee1_12833571-1621211594237-26cf17c72cdc9.jpg","author":"Ali Jackson","episode_count":289,"summary":"On Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast, dating & relationship coach Ali Jackson (@findingmrheight) brings you her positive and practical approach built from personal experience in the dating trenches. No matter where you are in your relationship journey, you’ll learn how to identify your needs, embrace your feelings, and directly communicate both. Ready to feel more authentic and grounded in your relationships and more joyful in your life overall? Tune in as Ali brings you relatable conversations with both expert guests and listeners just like you, peppering in her own personal insights along the way. Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any major podcast network. Find even more content from Ali on her Patreon, (https://www.patreon.com/findingmrheight) Instagram: @findingmrheight (https:// www.instagram.com/findingmrheight) TikTok: @findingmrheight (https://www.tiktok.com/ @findingmrheight)","last_synced_at":"2026-07-27T12:18:36.572160+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663"},"episode":{"title":"281. Why Self-Sufficient Women Are Still Codependent ft. Esin Pinarli","slug":"281-why-self-sufficient-women-are-still-codependent-ft-esin-pinarli","published_at":"2026-07-06T06:00:17+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663/281-why-self-sufficient-women-are-still-codependent-ft-esin-pinarli","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663","url":"https://findingmrheight.com/podcast","audio_url":"https://mgln.ai/e/137/s.gum.fm/s-622f6d1f9b96ac24488cce98/audio4.redcircle.com/episodes/93954284-9a37-4773-b741-79f58b4155e3/stream.mp3","summary":"Esin Pinarli, a psychotherapist with 18 years of experience, joins Ali to talk about people-pleasing, attachment, and what she calls modern codependency. Esin breaks down the unspoken childhood contracts we sign without realizing it, and how codependency shows up today in high-achieving, self-sufficient women who would never picture themselves as the \"lost yourself in a relationship\" type. The conversation also includes a refresher on the four attachment styles and the wheel of attachment, the anxious-avoidant dance, deactivating strategies, and how you actually earn your security over time through small, repeated choices. In Updates, Ali survives a brutal New York heat wave and starts a new running list with Skyline: bars that have way better food than they deserve to have, kicking things off with Abe's Pagoda in Bushwick. This week's Media Mention is creator Sam Showalter (@thesam_show on TikTok), whose series on decentering her husband tied in perfectly to the conversation about modern codependency. Sam’s video Ali mentions Where to find Esin: On Instagram @esinpinarli_lcsw and at www.eternalwellnesscounseling.com . Timestamps: Esin joins us at around minute 17. Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . Thanks to this week’s partners: Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Our Sponsors: * Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries:…","meta_description":"Esin Pinarli, a psychotherapist with 18 years of experience, joins Ali to talk about people-pleasing, attachment, and what she calls modern codependency.…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":3757,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663/episodes/281-why-self-sufficient-women-are-still-codependent-ft-esin-pinarli/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663/281-why-self-sufficient-women-are-still-codependent-ft-esin-pinarli.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}