Episode
When your Partner Drinks... Couples Therapist Zach Brittle
- Published
- Dec 13, 2025
- Duration seconds
- 2346
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Summary
My guest this week is couples therapist Zach Brittle who is based in Seattle I was able to pick his brain about that very common question we hear from some of our members – How can I quit when my partner drinks? In this episode:- Zach's drinking escalated during COVID lockdown—he felt depressed and family relationships were under strain. He reached that point that many of us get to – his “not this" moment as we call it in Tribe Sober He approached a sober friend, Dave, who became his sponsor and helped him to work the 12 steps He only attended a few in-person AA meetings but actually found a South African online meeting that became his home group – so he has a soft spot for us here in SA He quit alcohol quickly and without too much trouble, but deeper emotional recovery took much longer. Zach stressed the difference between quitting drinking and being sober. His marriage had involved heavy shared drinking and his wife had been his drinking buddy But after he got sober, his wife began to drink more and had her own recovery journey to tackle Their 15-year-old daughter also “spun out” as the family system recalibrated Family members are now all healthy and connected I loved Zach's analogy as a family being like a child mobile – hold one piece steady and the other pieces wobble – how true Zach had some great advice for partners struggling with a drinker who won’t change: Take care of yourself first — get grounded and stable. Build your “healthy place” and invite your partner into it. You can’t decide their behaviour, but you can decide what works for you. Early sobriety is fragile — ignore comments like “you’re boring.” Focus on your own survival. Zach's Top Benefits of Sobriety Feels like an adult for the first time in his life. Sleep transformed — falls asleep naturally,…