Episode
425. Why we want people who don't want us back
- Podcast
- The Psychology of your 20s
- Published
- Jun 4, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 1946
- Processing state
not_requested
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Summary
Why do we become obsessed with people who don't want us back? Even when we know it will never work? Even when we know there's no convincing them? In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind unrequited love, limerence, longing, and the irresistible pull of unavailable people, including: The neuroscience of craving, attraction, and obsession How intermittent reinforcement keeps us emotionally hooked Jacques Lacan's "object of desire" theory Why high achievers often struggle with unrequited love The role of limerence, fantasy, and idealisation The Zeigarnik Effect and our need for closure Practical strategies to finally move on and let go Creating your own closure when none is given Plus so so much more If you've ever found yourself unable to stop thinking about someone who doesn't feel the same way, this episode is for you. Together, we'll explore why it happens, what it reveals about us, and how to break free from the cycle Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @ jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @ thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @ thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected] The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.