Episode
Your Behavior Is Not Who You Are: Self-Sabotage, Trauma, & Healing w/ Elani Engelken (Part 2)
- Published
- May 4, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 1197
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Summary
Welcome to Part 2 of this powerful conversation with depth psychotherapist and somatic practitioner Elani Engelken . If Part 1 helped you understand why alcohol can become a form of regulation, this episode takes it a step further. We get into the deeper healing work: intuition, dissociation, freeze states, trauma responses, self-sabotage, and why your behavior is not the same thing as your identity. This is the kind of conversation that makes you stop and go, “Wait… that explains so much.” We talk about why so many of us stay disconnected from our bodies, how old survival patterns can quietly run the show, and what it actually takes to heal without shaming yourself in the process. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep repeating patterns even when you know better — this episode is for you. In this episode, we talk about: how intuition shows up in the body trauma responses like fight, flight, fawn, and freeze what dissociation can look like in everyday life why some people live in a “functional freeze” state how healing happens when safety is finally present why self-sabotage is often a symptom, not the real issue how unresolved pain can show up through chaos, drinking, and repeated patterns the power of reparenting, support, and being deeply seen why the right healing path should both challenge you and speak to you Favorite takeaway: Your behavior is not who you are. It’s often the clue pointing to the part of you that needs care, support, and healing. Connect with Elani: Elani Engelken is a depth psychotherapist and somatic healer whose work sits at the intersection of nervous system science, depth psychology, and embodied healing. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups to explore the patterns that live beneath the surface, in the body, in the lineag…