Episode

#5 Musical chairs of affection vs. the dance floor

Podcast
Queers with Accents
Published
Apr 6, 2026
Duration seconds
1980
Processing state
not_requested
Canonical source
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queerswithaccents/episodes/5-Musical-chairs-of-affection-vs--the-dance-floor-e3kn3kh
Audio
https://anchor.fm/s/113ab0284/podcast/play/121392209/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-5-12%2F426026579-44100-2-ae9d089308081.mp3
JSON
/v1/public/podcasts/queers-with-accents-7747041/episodes/5-musical-chairs-of-affection-vs-the-dance-floor
Markdown
/podcast/queers-with-accents-7747041/5-musical-chairs-of-affection-vs-the-dance-floor.md

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Summary

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life , a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge , a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * The speaker’s excitement and anxiety about reuniting with a long-term partner after two years of forced platonic distance due to his monogamous relationship with someone else. * The “musical chairs” dynamic of affection, where a monogamous person can claim the only available “chair” (partner status), shutting others out of intimacy. * Societal assumptions that polyamorous people should be “fine” losing one relationship because they have others, and that monogamous feelings automatically take priority. * The speaker’s rejection of rigid labels (friend, partner, f**k buddy), seeing every person as unique and irreplaceable. * The ideal of a “dance floor” where there are no chairs—or many chairs—allowing affection to flow without competition or exclusivity. Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: https://x.com/kinoko1027 * Kinoko-san’s blog: https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/ * Her book: https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA * Her interview: https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196