Episode
1846 || integrate the shadows
- Podcast
- Make Your Damn Bed
- Published
- Sep 6, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 607
- Processing state
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Summary
We all love the idea of a redemption arc. We love the idea of hitting rock bottom and bouncing up and transforming into a confident, powerful badass permanently. As humans, we tend to see things in black and white, before and after, cut and dry. But it’s important to remember that no timeline or journey or arc is linear. Unfortunately life, and healing, is a messy process. Unfortunately it is not something you can win or lose, but instead relies on a perspective shift that allows compassion and integration to be able to react better, not perfectly. Prioritizing yourself (after years of not) might piss off the people around you who are used to you self sacrificing for them. This transition period will be uncomfortable for them and you. Adjust anyway. Again, I’m not saying to be mean or neglectful but you must learn to set some actual boundaries, and start to take yourself and your own capacity into consideration, and stop abandoning yourself in order to take care of everyone else. When you do this, with enough time and practice, you’ll be teaching others that they are capable of taking some of the burden they’d offloaded onto you. And you’ll be teaching your own nervous system you are safe and someone who can be trusted. Correcting those who criticize or dislike or misunderstand you cannot become the priority. You have to build your tolerance for unpopularity. Now admittedly, I initially had some hesitation to say embrace your “villain” era because I don’t want anyone who is already evil to feel empowered to be more evil, but I do truly believe that there is a select few of us human beings who need to be explicitly taught how to prioritize ourselves, which means we need to unlearn some of the ingrained habits that make us feel like we HAVE to be…