Episode
17. Good Girl Conditioning: Breaking the Pattern Before It Reaches Our Daughters — with Rachel Seiler
- Podcast
- ADHD Mums
- Published
- Jul 20, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 1777
- Processing state
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Summary
You know good girl conditioning because you've lived it. The self-editing. The 'whatever you want.' The 'I don't mind.' You spent your twenties in the wrong careers and your thirties in therapy, and you're still catching yourself doing it in your forties. And now you're watching your neurodivergent daughter start — the compliant one, the helpful one — and you don't know how to name it, let alone stop it. CHAPTERS 00:00 — What the good girl actually loses (and nobody in the room notices) 02:16 — Interoception: the missing piece for a whole generation of mums 03:52 — Why you picked the worst careers and environments for you 06:35 — The nervous system cost nobody counts — going to the toilet on a bell 09:50 — The moment you edited yourself out before anyone even noticed 10:47 — Rachel's grade one birthday party, and what her mum saw 12:32 — The mum rage that arrived when it was her daughter's turn 15:14 — The four scripts that work better than any book or worksheet 19:17 — What we're actually reinforcing when we praise 'easy' behaviour 19:52 — The girls who look calm in the front row and panic on the inside 22:00 — The pool. The water slide. The moment Jane couldn't watch it anymore 28:03 — 'I don't mind' — the one thing every mum needs to understand about it What We Cover The one thing every good girl loses first, and it's not confidence — it's the ability to feel what's happening inside her own body Why you picked the worst possible jobs, cities and relationships in your twenties, and never once asked yourself the question that would have saved you What Rachel's mum watched her do at her own sixth birthday party — and the template it set for the next thirty years The moment Rachel had to physically walk out of her own daughter's bedroom before she said something she cou…