Episode

215. Disenfranchised Dad, ROGD Kid: When Fathers Get Sidelined in Their Own Family

Podcast
You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist
Published
May 25, 2026
Duration seconds
1475
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not_requested
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https://share.transistor.fm/s/37bc2f42
Audio
https://pdcn.co/e/media.transistor.fm/37bc2f42/07048bb6.mp3
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Markdown
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Summary

In this short solo episode, I introduce you to a figure who shows up again and again in my ROGD parent coaching work: the disenfranchised dad. He's usually a decent man — hardworking, opinionated, loves his kids — but somewhere along the way he ended up on the outside of his own family's emotional life, looking in. His wife is the emotional center. The kids bring everything to her. He drifts to the periphery and starts commenting on dinner from across the room, and the family rolls its eyes. I unpack how this pattern develops: a temperament mismatch between a Gen X dad and a more sensitive child, a marriage dynamic where mom gradually takes over the kids' inner lives, and a cultural script that has trained fathers to undervalue their own role. I look at what this does to children — including how it can show up in trans-identified boys who opt out of masculinity entirely, and in trans-identified girls carrying an unread longing for a father's protective love. Most importantly, I talk about repair. The way back isn't a grand sit-down conversation; it's hundreds of small moments of presence, side-by-side time, and putting down the running commentary. Moms can help by stepping out of the gatekeeper role and letting dads back in. If you've been on the edge of your family for years, this episode is for you. If you’re a parent navigating these dynamics in your own family, I created ROGD Repair with you in mind. This podcast episode doubles as an ROGD Repair bonus lesson. In the course, it can be found here , along with a companion essay and reflection questions to help you personalize the material. There’s lots more content like this for you in the program. It’s the closest thing to working with me one-on-one as a coach. ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents…