Episode
BIOLOGICAL New Year's Resolutions!
- Podcast
- What The If?
- Published
- Dec 30, 2025
- Duration seconds
- 1920
- Processing state
not_requested- Canonical source
- https://soundcloud.com/whattheif/resolutions
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Summary
What the if your New Year's resolution became a biological compulsion you literally could not ignore? Imagine waking up on January 1st with the same unstoppable urge that drives salmon to swim upstream, except instead of spawning, you absolutely must get to the gym three times a week. In this world, the darkness of winter triggers something deep in our ancient brain, locking us into whatever commitment we scribbled down at midnight. You'd have to rules-lawyer your own resolutions like a contract with a malicious genie. Society would develop rituals around helping eight-year-olds avoid accidentally resolving to rule the world. Plus, discover a surprising new theory about why Stonehenge exists that has everything to do with cabin fever and nothing to do with astronomy. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention