Episode
18: "Open Communication" Is the Nicest Way to Say You Have No Protection
- Podcast
- The Ugly Truth of Divorce
- Published
- Apr 7, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 1023
- Processing state
not_requested- Canonical source
- https://audioboom.com/posts/8882134
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Summary
Your ex didn't become unhinged overnight. Your parenting plan just finally gave them the tools to show you. If you have the words "open communication" sitting in your parenting plan with absolutely nothing else around them, you did not write a rule. You wrote a blank check. And your high-conflict ex has been signing their name to it every single day since you both walked out of that courtroom. This is the episode nobody wants to have because it means admitting that the document you fought for, paid thousands of dollars for, and cried over might be the very thing working against you right now. The communication clause, or the total disaster that exists where one should be, is one of the most dangerous things I see in parenting plans. No response windows. No platform. No volume limits. No defined hours. Nothing. Just "open communication" sitting there like that means something. It does not mean something. It means everything is allowed. And everything is too much. When your ex sends you 75 messages before noon they are not out of control. They are on schedule. Because nothing in your plan told them they couldn't. That is the part that should keep you up at night. I get into what this actually looks like in real life when you are dealing with a high-conflict person. It looks like your phone exploding while you are trying to be present with your kids. It looks like a message thread that opens with a simple question and ends with a custody threat forty-five messages later. It looks like sitting across from a judge being called an unresponsive co-parent because you had the audacity to not answer during your own parenting time. And I get personal because I lived this. I used to run to that phone like I would get struck by lightning if I didn't answer in time. I set a specific…