Episode

Episode 370: The Book Every Protective Parent Needs: Helping Children Heal from Coercive Control with Dr. Christine Cocchiola

Podcast
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Published
May 28, 2026
Duration seconds
2533
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Summary

Dr. Christine Cocchiola is back with a brand-new children's book called Every Moment of Every Day. It's a book for kids who are going back and forth between homes when one of those homes isn't safe. It gives children language for what they're feeling, and it gives protective parents a roadmap for how to support them when they come home. This book does something I haven't seen in any other children's book about divorce: it integrates somatic healing methods to help kids move out of survival mode and back into connection. It also gives children something abusers never do: choice and agency. We also talk about how to co-regulate when your child comes home dysregulated, which is so hard to do, but so incredibly important. And I ask Dr. C for her thoughts on the way narcissists and coercive controllers are often conflated. She explains why they are not the same. This is the kind of conversation that reminds me why we can't stop being fierce advocates for the people we work with every day. As Dr. C says, when kids finally connect the dots and the attachment gets rebuilt, it's the most beautiful thing to watch. And it starts with you. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why Dr. C wrote a children's book specifically for kids in shared custody situations with an abusive parent, and what she was trying to give them (4:59) How the book helps kids identify what they're feeling in their body, not just their emotions (6:43) What makes this book different from other divorce books, which tend to normalize and soften when kids actually need to be seen (9:53) How the book integrates somatic healing methods, and what that looks like in practice (10:42) Why narcissists and coercive controllers are not the same, and why that distinction matters enormously for how you navigate these sy…