Episode
Stephen Grosz On Love And Psychoanalysis
- Published
- Jul 10, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 2842
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Summary
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit andrewsullivan.substack.com Stephen is a psychoanalyst and author. He used to teach clinical technique at the Institute of Psychoanalysis, and also psychoanalytic theory at University College London. He’s the author of The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves , and his latest book is Love’s Labor : How We Break and Make the Bonds of Love . For two clips of the episode — on what psychoanalysis is really for, and the benefits of friendship vs romantic love — head to our YouTube page . Other topics: born in Gary, Indiana; his birth defect requiring many surgeries; his Jewish family emigrating from Eastern Europe; college at Berkeley and Oxford; arrested at the Chicago Dem convention; befriending Anna Freud; Sigmund and his studies in hysteria; loneliness in adolescence; how falling in love is very different than love; my own psychoanalyst of 25 years; trauma from my childhood; the losses that marriage entails; breakthroughs after breakdowns; detaching from the idea of yourself; legal marriages vs psychological ones; falling back into trauma because it’s familiar; the power of love’s precarity; victimology; Philip Roth’s “the ecstasy of sanctimony”; lessons from Othello; surrender vs submission; Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity ; seeking traits in a partner that mirror a dysfunctional parent; how sex is different for men and women; gay promiscuity; male-male marriages lasting the longest; HIV and the threat of deportation; dating with HIV in the ‘90s; and how to be a better listener. Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy. Coming up: David Thomson on cinema in US history and culture, John O’Sullivan on conservatism, Robby George on natural law, and Megan McArdle on pretty much anyt…