Episode

Ep 62. Your Body Knows Before Your Mind Does: Trauma, The Nervous System, Perfectionism and a Path to Healing with Harvard Trained Psychiatrist Dr. Melissa Hankins

Podcast
Success Reimagined with Amna Shabbir MD
Published
Apr 26, 2026
Duration seconds
2480
Processing state
not_requested
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https://share.transistor.fm/s/d70f2e88
Audio
https://media.transistor.fm/d70f2e88/9f4375fc.mp3
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/v1/public/podcasts/success-reimagined-with-amna-shabbir-md-7213595/episodes/ep-62-your-body-knows-before-your-mind-does-trauma-the-nervous-system-perfectionism-and-a-path-to-healing-with-harvard-trained-psychiatrist-dr-melissa-hankins
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Summary

I have been wanting to have this conversation for a very long time and I am so glad it is finally here. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Melissa Hankins, a Harvard-trained psychiatrist, certified executive coach, and trauma-informed EFT practitioner, for one of the most honest and illuminating conversations I have had on this show. We go deep into the intersection of trauma and perfectionism, and Dr. Hankins reframes everything. Perfectionism is not a personality flaw or a character trait. It is a state of being, a protective strategy your nervous system developed to keep you safe in environments where love, belonging, and worth felt conditional. And when you understand that, everything starts to make sense. Dr. Hankins generously shares her own story, growing up biracial in a predominantly white environment, losing her mother at 16, and navigating the racial and emotional complexity that quietly shaped her drive to achieve above and beyond. Her vulnerability in this conversation moved me deeply, and I found myself holding space while also recognizing so much of my own journey as a South Asian woman in medicine. We also explore EFT tapping, the mind-body tool that Dr. Hankins introduced me to personally and that I can say from experience is genuinely powerful. She walks us through how it works, why it works, and how you can begin using it to regulate your nervous system right now. If you have ever felt like you cannot slow down, cannot stop achieving, cannot let people see the real you, this episode is for you. Key Takeaways Perfectionism is a protective strategy, not a flaw. Your nervous system developed it to keep you safe in environments where love and belonging felt conditional. Trauma is more than big T moments. Anything that was too much too soon, or too litt…