Episode
If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count
- Podcast
- Relationship Advice
- Published
- Feb 28, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 3214
- Processing state
not_requested
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Summary
Why does it feel so disappointing to ask for what you want? In this episode, we unpack the hidden belief that “if I have to ask, it doesn’t count” — and how that mindset turns simple needs (compliments, celebration, affection) into silent resentment. We explore the shame, fear of failure, childhood triggers, and meaning-making underneath it all — and how shifting from mind-reading to curiosity can completely change the dynamic. Main Talking Points: • Mind-reading myth • Meaning-making traps • Shame & fear • Childhood wounds • Process > content Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! Cozy Earth - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. AG1 - AG1 has become my go to every morning. Simple Practice - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices