Episode
Aching by Brittany Searle Kempaiah
- Podcast
- One Poem Only
- Published
- May 4, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 158
- Processing state
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Summary
One Poem Only is a daily poetry podcast offering a quiet moment with a single poem—read aloud, without analysis or noise. Aching Brittany Searle Kempaiah Unexpectedly. There are moments I relish my arms being my arms again. And then, I ache for you. I ache for the way you once fit in the crux of them your head on my bare chest. I ache for those moments I dreaded your screaming. and the way it seemed to echo with accusations of my failure. I ache for the days I wondered what I had done with my life. and sat by your cot. Begging you to forgive me for wanting to be me again. I ache for your tiny brace I hated. The thin clothes and baggy pants that always seemed to draw eyes to us, accusing me of not being enough to heal you. I ache for your bald spot I tried to cover and the tiny milk peoples I feared were a sign of sensitive skin. The fear that your easily marked brown skin would scar and you would blame me for allowing your perfection to be blemished. I ache for your fumbling steps, your bruised head and scraped knees that made me fear you were somehow becoming too much like me. I ache for the bottles you wanted late at night. To hold you in the rocking chair and sing you back to sleep, without wishing it away. I ache. because I don’t really remember them. They are fragments and illustrated by ideas of memories. Feelings. Senses. Exhaustion. But I wasn’t really there. This is what I took from myself. Missing all our worst days meant missing all our best. And I will never be able to hold the tiny you again, and love you perfectly, I ache, and I ache. and I ache. More from Brittany Searle Kempaiah ↓ @brittanysearlekempaiahwords on Instagram She is currently working on three books: Waking Up in Darkness, a memoir about being diagnosed bi-polar while pregnant, Crossstich ,…