Episode
87. There's no such thing as mental load
- Published
- Apr 14, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 1230
- Processing state
not_requested- Canonical source
- https://www.theschoolofmom.com
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Summary
You've heard of the mental load — but what if we've been calling it the wrong thing all along? In this episode, I'm making the case that there's no such thing as just a mental load, and why getting the name right is the first step toward actually getting relief. I go deep into the brain-body load, the MOMsight framework, and why real change doesn't happen by shuffling tasks around — it happens in the body. Key Points Why "mental load" is a misnomer — and what the more accurate (and more useful) term actually is How our thoughts, emotions, and nervous system are inextricably linked — and why treating the load as purely cognitive leaves us without the right tools The difference between emotions and feelings — and why understanding this distinction is foundational to being a human who can flourish Why 90–95% of our experience (including the choices we make under load) is unconscious — and what that means for real change How the same event (a child's fever, a doctor's appointment) lands completely differently depending on what's happening in your nervous system Why conversations about mental load often spiral into frustration, blame, and resentment — and what to do with that instead The MOMsight framework: a map of the play between your nervous system, body, emotions, feelings, thoughts, and lived experience Why offloading the brain body load isn't just about task redistribution — it's about shifting what's happening at a root level in your body Resources and research Sarah loves: Brené Brown's emotion research, Mark Brackett's Permission to Feel, and the Mood Meter/How We Feel app An invitation: Sarah has a one-on-one coaching spot open (May through year-end) for a mom ready to do this root cause work Quotes "Mental load suggests it's just thoughts in our head — and it's…