Episode
What Do You Owe a Difficult Boss?
- Published
- Apr 20, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 448
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Summary
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.com I was having lunch on the patio at Kiwami with a long-time colleague — we'd served together on the board of the Coalition of Asian Pacifics in Entertainment — and we were debating whether to order the Kiwami tray or go à la carte. And then, I felt the energy around me shift. I didn’t turn my head, but I could see her outline in my peripheral vision. The boss who fired me. OMG, she was seated close enough to hear us order, and I was close enough I could smell her perfume. My first instinct: pretend she doesn't exist. Keep smiling. Keep chatting. Keep still. But the light-hearted parley about omakase was now nausea inducing and there was a buzzing in my ears. My boss, no, my ex -boss flagged a waiter and asked to move inside. I can't remember anything that happened after that. Here's what I know now that I didn't know then: what happened in my body had a name. My nervous system registered a perceived threat and responded accordingly — heart rate, shallow breath, the works. I was in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn moment — and caught between freezing and fawning. Why not do both when I’m under threat? What's interesting is that the threat wasn't real. I wasn't in danger. But my nervous system treated my ex-boss’ arrival as if something horrible was about to happen and I would be blind-sided all over again. Reader Question: Should I Reach Out to a Former (Not Awesome) Boss for a Job? I was reminded of this Kiwami experience recently when a reader sent me a question I suspect a lot of other people have too. He'd just learned that a former boss had landed a senior role at a new company. This was someone who had been skilled at managing up and promoting himself, but less focused on deve…