Episode
I Know I Should Reach Out 🙈
- Published
- May 11, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 560
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Summary
I asked a room full of smart, ambitious professionals to rate how important relationship building is to their careers right now. On a scale of one to ten, the answers came back: Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Then I asked a follow-up question: how does that actually show up in your day-to-day? My favorite response: “Actual importance: ten. How I’m treating it: three.” We all laughed. Because we recognized ourselves. It may seem like that gap between knowing relationships matter and actually building them is an issue of will-power, discipline, or follow-through, but it’s actually more interesting than that. Close the Relationship Gap with Timing Here’s what’s really going on. We build relationships reactively. We reach out when we need something like a referral, an introduction, a favor, a job, an investment, or an opportunity to pitch. We fumble the ask, not knowing how assertive to be, or we over-index on small talk. We feel like impostors despite our knowledge, training, and experience. The problem isn’t the ask. The problem is your timing. When you reach out before you have an ask, the whole dynamic changes. You’re not a transaction. You’re a person. Ditch Networking. Build the Relationship. Relationship building isn’t networking. Networking implies a transaction with better branding. Relationship building is different. It’s deciding, in advance, who matters to your work and your life, and getting on their radar. That shift in framing makes the energy of the outreach about building rapport. You’re not trying to extract something. You’re trying to meet someone and build a mutually beneficial relationship that doesn’t have an immediate timeline. It’s so simple, right? But why don’t we do it? The Five Things That Actually Stop You I’ve had versions of this conversation with…