Episode
#119 Attachment Styles (Part 1): Why You React the Way You Do in Relationships
- Published
- Mar 12, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 2117
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Summary
Have you ever wondered why you react the way you do in your relationship? - Why some people crave closeness, while others pull away when things get emotional? In this episode, we break down attachment theory and the four attachment styles that shape how we connect with the people we love. Attachment styles are not just personality traits—they are nervous system responses developed early in life based on how safe and supported we felt as children. These patterns often follow us into adulthood and influence how we communicate, handle conflict, and experience intimacy. You’ll learn about the four attachment styles: Secure Attachment • Anxious (Preoccupied) Attachment • Dismissive Avoidant Attachment • Fearful Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment Relationship experts like Sue Johnson , Stan Tatkin , and Thais Gibson have shown that many relationship conflicts are actually bids for connection , -attempts to feel safe, loved, and emotionally secure. The good news? Attachment styles are not permanent . With awareness and intentional communication, couples can develop what psychologists call “earned secure attachment.” In this episode you’ll discover: What attachment theory is and why it matters in relationships • How childhood experiences shape adult relationship patterns • The signs of secure, anxious, and avoidant attachment • Why conflict is often a hidden bid for connection • How attachment patterns show up in everyday relationship moments If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why do we keep having the same arguments?” or “Why do I feel so anxious or distant in my relationship?” this episode will help you understand the deeper patterns underneath. Next week in Part 2 , we’ll talk about how different attachment styles interact in relationships and practical exercises to help…