Episode
Why Being Regulated All The Time Is Bullsh*t!
- Podcast
- But For Real
- Published
- Jan 22, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 3248
- Processing state
not_requested
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Summary
If you’ve done “the work,” learned nervous system skills, gone to therapy… and you still get dysregulated , this episode is your permission slip to stop spiraling about it. In Episode 36 of But For Real , Val and Em break down what emotional regulation actually means—and why TikTok, pop psychology, and even therapy culture have wildly distorted it. We start the episode under-caffeinated, under-slept, and already dysregulated (relatable), then use that exact moment to talk about what being human really looks like. We answer a listener question from a self-described “dysregulated diva” who’s frustrated that anxiety spikes, shutdown, and emotional overwhelm still happen despite years of nervous system work. Spoiler: this does not mean therapy isn’t working . From there, we unpack: Why emotions are energy in motion , not instructions How emotional regulation has been hijacked by productivity culture Why the DSM doesn’t diagnose emotions—and why TikTok keeps trying to The difference between emotional intensity and mental illness Why “never being activated again” is a scam How DBT skills like urge surfing, TIPP, emotion naming, and opposite action actually work in real life We also talk cicadas, kombucha shots, weaponized stoicism, BPD discourse on TikTok, why calm ≠ healed, and how regulation was never meant to make you quieter, easier, or more palatable. This episode is nervous-system education without toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing, or “rewire yourself once and for all” nonsense. If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I still like this?” — this one’s for you. We talk about: 00:00 – Low brain power, re-recording chaos, and starting dysregulated 02:00 – Real-life regulation: distraction vs. shifting state 05:00 – Tea & Crumpets: unsettling movies, long-form content, and…