Episode
28. ADHD and Friendship: Why You Can't Send the Text (Even to People You Like)
- Podcast
- ADHD Mums
- Published
- Aug 26, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 1519
- Processing state
not_requested
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Summary
There's a mum at pickup you really like. Ninety seconds every afternoon, one of those chats where you both go 'yeah, exactly' — and then the kids spill out, someone's swinging a backpack like a helicopter, someone's demanding the petrol station, and you're pulled away before you can even say goodbye. And every day you get back to the car thinking: I should have her over. We should do a barbecue. I'd love to actually talk to her for more than ninety seconds. You got her number in January. It's the end of July. And you've made no progress at all. You've probably already filed that as proof you're flaky, cold, a bad friend. This episode is Jane taking that story apart — because the silence between you and someone you genuinely like usually isn't 'I don't want this.' It's 'I want this, but I have no hands to build it with.' CHAPTERS 00:00 — Nat, the 90-second pickup chat, and the barbecue that never happens 02:29 — Got her number in January. It's July. No progress. 03:57 — 'I'm flaky, I'm cold, I'm a bad friend' — the personality we build around it 05:33 — The executive-function tax on turning a pickup mum into a real friend 06:36 — It's not that you need to try harder. It might be the fuel tank. 07:13 — The mum with the same life who still hosts the perfect Sunday barbecue 08:36 — Good girl conditioning: when friendship becomes your job to carry 10:45 — When you can't stand the silence — and what your brain files it as 12:09 — Why a late-diagnosed brain has had decades to build 'I ruin friendships' 14:31 — The flicker of energy, and the threat analysis that kills the text 15:54 — The heart-react as a hostage 'proof of life' photo 17:35 — Moving to acreage, and quietly deleting myself 18:43 — 'I want this, but I have no hands to build it with' 20:16 — Why 'just put yoursel…