{"podcast":{"title":"The Nuance Diaries","slug":"the-nuance-diaries-7119430","podcast_index_feed_id":7119430,"rss_url":"https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/1646872.rss","website_url":"https://thenuancediaries.substack.com/podcast","image_url":"https://substackcdn.com/feed/podcast/1646872/d261d626912eca102e8a79ca09de2e70.jpg","author":"Alexa Juanita Jordan","episode_count":59,"summary":"You know those texts that are reserved for the group chat? That's the kind of vibe you'll find here. Consider my vulnerability a permission slip for yours.","last_synced_at":"2026-06-29T04:19:15.401476+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-nuance-diaries-7119430"},"episode":{"title":"Kind Eyes on the Lower East Side","slug":"kind-eyes-on-the-lower-east-side","published_at":"2025-12-08T11:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-nuance-diaries-7119430/kind-eyes-on-the-lower-east-side","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-nuance-diaries-7119430","url":"https://thenuancediaries.substack.com/p/kind-eyes-on-the-lower-east-side","audio_url":"https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/177514631/bf5f5cf7b342715794552e0836d4c6a5.mp3","summary":"I saw a stranger with really kind eyes a few months ago on the Lower East Side. This man with kind eyes looked like he was in love with this girl. I thought to myself, Will anyone like that ever fall in love with me? Would they love me if they knew who I was? What I’d been through? The dark shit clogged inside me? I realized a year or so ago that whenever I pictured my future self, she looked different from how I do now. She had straight long hair, and always looked more together than me. I’ve been trying to picture a future self who looks more like my present self, because I want to think of my present self as deserving of the things that I think my future self will have. I even have this outfit (that I currently own) that I’ll specifically picture my future self wearing: my ‘Victoria Beckham’ jeans , white mock turtleneck shirt. I’ll picture myself at a conference or worship wearing this outfit — or even just living a casual day in my future life. When I wear this outfit now, in the present day, it helps me feel a little closer to my future self. *They are not actually from Victoria’s fashion line; they’re just flair jeans that remind me of the ones she wore in the David Beckham documentary when they were dancing to Islands in the Stream. When I was facing serious financial issues earlier this year , I thought a lot about the different, somewhat extreme, things people consider doing for money when they’re desperate and don’t have other options. And I came really close to doing some of those things. I considered doing things I would never dream of if I weren’t in such a financially unstable position. I ultimately did not do any of those things — and I’m incredibly lucky that I had that choice. So many people don’t have choices about where and how they live, and what t…","meta_description":"I saw a stranger with really kind eyes a few months ago on the Lower East Side. This man with kind eyes looked like he was in love with this girl. I thoug…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":462,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-nuance-diaries-7119430/episodes/kind-eyes-on-the-lower-east-side/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-nuance-diaries-7119430/kind-eyes-on-the-lower-east-side.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}