{"podcast":{"title":"The Best of You","slug":"the-best-of-you-5434878","podcast_index_feed_id":5434878,"rss_url":"https://feeds.megaphone.fm/TSF6018604298","website_url":"https://www.alisoncookphd.com/","image_url":"https://megaphone.imgix.net/podcasts/bce7efe6-a03f-11ee-8c9f-774bed44a0bf/image/fc2ae1c482ec1458c40205cd8f979641.png?ixlib=rails-4.3.1&max-w=3000&max-h=3000&fit=crop&auto=format,compress","author":"Dr. Alison Cook","episode_count":344,"summary":"Join therapist and author, Dr. Alison Cook, as she guides you through some of your toughest challenges with wisdom, kindness, and grace. Together with friends and experts we'll unpack the best of psychology from a faith-based perspective. You’ll discover how to break free from painful patterns, mend your past, and discover what brings out the best of you.","last_synced_at":"2026-07-30T18:19:05.176079+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-best-of-you-5434878"},"episode":{"title":"217. What to Do When You’re the Only One Trying: Leslie Vernick on Emotionally Destructive Relationships","slug":"217-what-to-do-when-you-re-the-only-one-trying-leslie-vernick-on-emotionally-destructive-relationships","published_at":"2026-07-16T09:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-best-of-you-5434878/217-what-to-do-when-you-re-the-only-one-trying-leslie-vernick-on-emotionally-destructive-relationships","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-best-of-you-5434878","url":"https://pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/arttrk.com/p/TSFL1/claritaspod.com/measure/traffic.megaphone.fm/AMPH1686428201.mp3","audio_url":"https://pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/arttrk.com/p/TSFL1/claritaspod.com/measure/traffic.megaphone.fm/AMPH1686428201.mp3","summary":"Every marriage goes through difficult seasons. But what happens when you're the only one willing to do the work? When every conversation ends in blame, defensiveness, or silence? When you're trying to repair the relationship, but your partner refuses to take responsibility? In this week's episode, Dr. Alison sits down with licensed clinical social worker and relationship expert Leslie Vernick to explore the difference between a marriage that's simply hard and one that's become emotionally destructive. Together, they unpack the patterns that quietly erode trust, why healthy relationships require repair, and how to begin reclaiming your own stability—even if your spouse never changes. You'll learn: The difference between a difficult marriage and an emotionally destructive one Why repair—not perfection—is the mark of a healthy relationship The warning signs of blame, gaslighting, and chronic deflection How to stop centering your life around changing another person Why becoming a God-centered person changes the way you navigate unhealthy relationships Practical first steps you can take when you're the only one pursuing growth Whether you're navigating a difficult marriage yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers wisdom, compassion, and hope. Because healing doesn't always begin when someone else changes. Sometimes it begins when you discover what it looks like to stand on your own two feet while remaining deeply rooted in God. Take Leslie’s free quiz “Are you in an emotionally destructive marriage?” Make sure to read Leslie’s book “The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing it, Stopping It, Surviving It” More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early…","meta_description":"Every marriage goes through difficult seasons. But what happens when you're the only one willing to do the work? When every conversation ends in blame, de…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":3114,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-best-of-you-5434878/episodes/217-what-to-do-when-you-re-the-only-one-trying-leslie-vernick-on-emotionally-destructive-relationships/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-best-of-you-5434878/217-what-to-do-when-you-re-the-only-one-trying-leslie-vernick-on-emotionally-destructive-relationships.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}