{"podcast":{"title":"Practicing Love: Have the Best Love and Sex of Your Life After 40","slug":"practicing-love-have-the-best-love-and-sex-of-your-life-after-40-7053593","podcast_index_feed_id":7053593,"rss_url":"https://feeds.libsyn.com/549852/rss","website_url":"https://shanajamescoaching.com/podcasts/","image_url":"https://static.libsyn.com/p/assets/d/0/6/2/d062780b2af2a37116c3140a3186d450/105728.png","author":"Shana James","episode_count":63,"summary":"Love between humans is not easy, and most of us never had great examples or education about emotions, communication, sex, or what keeps love alive. When you add the challenges of aging to the mix, love becomes even more complicated. Many people end up settling, or giving up on what they want most. But you don't have to! Dating and relationships become easier when you hear people share vulnerably about their struggles, and how they've created more connection and excitement. I bring my 20 years of experience, coaching thousands of people, to help you see what's possible, and how the practice of love makes it possible to have the best love and sex of your life! Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! https://shanajamescoaching.com/goodies","last_synced_at":"2026-07-23T18:18:23.393961+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/practicing-love-have-the-best-love-and-sex-of-your-life-after-40-7053593"},"episode":{"title":"#57: Stop wondering if they like you: The dating question that changes everything","slug":"57-stop-wondering-if-they-like-you-the-dating-question-that-changes-everything","published_at":"2026-06-21T18:05:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/practicing-love-have-the-best-love-and-sex-of-your-life-after-40-7053593/57-stop-wondering-if-they-like-you-the-dating-question-that-changes-everything","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/practicing-love-have-the-best-love-and-sex-of-your-life-after-40-7053593","url":"https://55a15c30-fab8-4111-89c4-b7c13a31ff7f.libsyn.com/57-stop-wondering-if-they-like-you-the-dating-question-that-changes-everything","audio_url":"https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/55a15c30-fab8-4111-89c4-b7c13a31ff7f/Shana_Ep_3.mp3?dest-id=4744482","summary":"If you've ever left a date replaying every moment in your head, analyzing every text message, or wondering whether you said the wrong thing, you're not alone. For many people, especially those dating after 40 or dating after divorce, first dates aren't actually about getting to know someone. They're about trying to figure out whether you're being liked. In this solo episode of Practicing Love , dating and relationship coach Shana James reveals the second mindset shift in her series on transforming modern dating. While the first shift focused on changing the dynamic of a date by naming a shared intention at the beginning, this episode explores the internal habit that quietly sabotages connection long after the conversation begins. The problem isn't always obvious. Once a date gets underway, many people naturally fall back into monitoring themselves. They start wondering: \"Am I coming across well?\" \"Do they like me?\" \"Am I attractive enough?\" \"Did I say the wrong thing?\" According to Shana, this constant self-monitoring creates a split in attention. Part of you is present in the conversation, while another part is standing outside the experience, evaluating your performance. The result? You become less available for authentic connection. Instead of being fully present, you're busy reading facial expressions, decoding reactions, and trying to predict whether the other person approves of you. Even emotionally intelligent and self-aware people fall into this trap because it can disguise itself as attentiveness or empathy. Shana explains that the question most people unconsciously ask on dates is: \"Do they like me?\" But she offers a much more powerful alternative: \"Do I like how I'm showing up in this conversation?\" That single shift changes everything. Rather than making yo…","meta_description":"If you've ever left a date replaying every moment in your head, analyzing every text message, or wondering whether you said the wrong thing, you're not al…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":1217,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/practicing-love-have-the-best-love-and-sex-of-your-life-after-40-7053593/episodes/57-stop-wondering-if-they-like-you-the-dating-question-that-changes-everything/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/practicing-love-have-the-best-love-and-sex-of-your-life-after-40-7053593/57-stop-wondering-if-they-like-you-the-dating-question-that-changes-everything.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}