{"podcast":{"title":"Love Inside Out with Adele Testa","slug":"love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936","podcast_index_feed_id":7707936,"rss_url":"https://anchor.fm/s/10c9e84e8/podcast/rss","website_url":"https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/adelethecoach","image_url":"https://d3t3ozftmdmh3i.cloudfront.net/staging/podcast_uploaded_nologo/44966826/44966826-1765282058967-2ec5a2b9905fb.jpg","author":"Adele The Coach","episode_count":33,"summary":"What if the way we've been thinking about love is keeping us from actually having it? Whether you're happily partnered, struggling to connect, or somewhere in the messy middle—pull up a chair. Let's figure this out together. Love Inside Out is for anyone who's ever felt like they're performing in their relationship instead of living in it. For people who wonder if compromise has turned into playing small. For those asking: Why was this easier in my twenties? I'm Adele—coach, and curious human. Thank you for joining me in this journey!","last_synced_at":"2026-07-08T10:22:34.420887+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936"},"episode":{"title":"20. Retroactive jealousy: the ghost in your relationship","slug":"20-retroactive-jealousy-the-ghost-in-your-relationship","published_at":"2026-05-03T05:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/20-retroactive-jealousy-the-ghost-in-your-relationship","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936","url":"https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/adelethecoach/episodes/20--Retroactive-jealousy-the-ghost-in-your-relationship-e3ig5mv","audio_url":"https://anchor.fm/s/10c9e84e8/podcast/play/119067807/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-3-26%2F422900018-44100-2-ddfa5377b0a49.mp3","summary":"Your partner's ex. The one you've never met but can't stop thinking about. That's the ghost in your relationship — and in this episode, we're talking about why someone who is no longer part of the story has more power over your peace of mind than the person sleeping next to you. Today we focus on retroactive jealousy . In this episode, I break down what retroactive jealousy actually is, why it takes hold so deeply, who keeps the ghost alive without realising it, and what you can do — practically, honestly — to stop it from running your relationship. If you've ever stalked your partner's ex on social media, asked a question you didn't actually want the answer to, or felt your stomach drop at a name from their past — this episode was made for you. Press play. CHAPTERS 00:00 Understanding retroactive jealousy — what it is, how it differs from reactive and possessive jealousy, and why we're only covering this type today. The others get their own episode. 03:11 The emotional impact of retroactive jealousy — what it actually feels like from the inside, the obsessive cycle of digging and spiralling, and how friends, family, and even your partner can keep the ghost alive without meaning to. 10:34 Identifying the root causes — low self-worth, anxious attachment, and the imagination problem that turns your partner's past into a film that's always worse than reality. 18:23 Strategies for managing retroactive jealousy — six practical steps, from stopping the detective work to building the relationship instead of investigating it. 19:33 Heart Work of the week — three questions to carry with you this week. The kind that change things if you sit with them honestly. 21:10 Conclusion — the past is where stories go when they're finished. Yours is still being written. If this episode lan…","meta_description":"Your partner's ex. The one you've never met but can't stop thinking about. That's the ghost in your relationship — and in this episode, we're talking abou…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":1329,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/episodes/20-retroactive-jealousy-the-ghost-in-your-relationship/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/20-retroactive-jealousy-the-ghost-in-your-relationship.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}