{"podcast":{"title":"Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom","slug":"losing-a-child-always-andy-s-mom-252545","podcast_index_feed_id":252545,"rss_url":"https://andysmom.libsyn.com/rss","website_url":"http://andysmom.com","image_url":"https://static.libsyn.com/p/assets/e/e/8/9/ee898b2cff452f8ee55e3c100dce7605/UPDATEDalwaysandysmom.jpg","author":"Marcy Larson, MD","episode_count":363,"summary":"When pediatrician mom of three, Marcy Larson's 14 yo son, Andy, was killed in a car accident in 2018, she felt like her life was over. In many ways, that life was over, and a new one forced to begin in its place. Come alongside her as she works through this journey of healing. She discusses grief and child loss with other grieving parents and those who work to help them in their grief. This podcast is for grieving parents and well as those who support them.","last_synced_at":"2026-09-04T00:22:05.651956+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/losing-a-child-always-andy-s-mom-252545"},"episode":{"title":"Episode 362: Even Still, She Was Joy - Ellie's Mama","slug":"episode-362-even-still-she-was-joy-ellie-s-mama","published_at":"2026-08-20T11:34:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/losing-a-child-always-andy-s-mom-252545/episode-362-even-still-she-was-joy-ellie-s-mama","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/losing-a-child-always-andy-s-mom-252545","url":"https://andysmom.libsyn.com/episode-362-even-still-she-was-joy-ellies-mama","audio_url":"https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/andysmom/362_-_Ellies_Mom_-_Final.mp3?dest-id=1436963","summary":"Kayla called her God's baby from the very beginning. She had been through six or seven miscarriages before Ellie arrived, and from the moment Ellie was born eight weeks early with a heart condition so severe the doctors were not sure she would make it, Kayla understood something in her bones: this child may not be hers to keep. She was only hers to love. And love her she did. For 574 days in the hospital. Through intestinal surgery and open-heart surgery and ECMO twice and sepsis and a tracheostomy and every obstacle that life and medicine could throw at a tiny, premature little girl who had no idea she was supposed to be defeated. That is the thing about Ellie. She did not get the memo. She gave wicked side-eyes to the nurses who dared take her temperature. She pretended to be asleep when the physical therapist walked in, then opened her eyes the moment she left. She played with her balloon with her oxygen saturation in the thirties. She said mama for the first and only time right before her tracheostomy, as if she knew exactly what her mama needed to hear. When her surgeon came in with the clamp trial running and the whole room holding its breath, Ellie was kicking. She was always kicking. And in her final months at home, through all of it, she was happy. Kayla says near the end of this conversation something that I have not been able to stop thinking about. She says she has joy and she has grief, and one is her right foot and one is her left foot, and you cannot walk without both. She will walk like that for the rest of her life. And I think that is Ellie's greatest gift to her mama. Not just the side-eye and the balloons and the rattle toy and the one perfect \"mama\" - but the living proof that joy and suffering are not opposites. That a person can be in both at the…","meta_description":"Kayla called her God's baby from the very beginning. She had been through six or seven miscarriages before Ellie arrived, and from the moment Ellie was bo…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":5706,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/losing-a-child-always-andy-s-mom-252545/episodes/episode-362-even-still-she-was-joy-ellie-s-mama/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/losing-a-child-always-andy-s-mom-252545/episode-362-even-still-she-was-joy-ellie-s-mama.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}