{"podcast":{"title":"Lights On with Carl Lentz","slug":"lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795","podcast_index_feed_id":6927795,"rss_url":"https://rss.art19.com/lights-on-with-carl-lentz","website_url":"https://art19.com/shows/lights-on-with-carl-lentz","image_url":"https://content.production.cdn.art19.com/images/5b/64/0c/f2/5b640cf2-4e85-4c8f-843c-cea83efe4ce5/61b4e9f49ec24f27d4601374c0a37fcd8bc0f9cd5fb5cce410765f7cc703ff2b069875f10baf249f82c32d5d545b41bff021493f4c5ad5fbace6d56c7ab1bb75.jpeg","author":"B-Side","episode_count":105,"summary":"Lights On with Carl Lentz is exactly what this show is. Carl Lentz is turning on the lights in his own life, & giving people space to do the same. We will lead with vulnerability, & have open conversations to bring light to the inner darkness in our lives. Turn on the lights with us!","last_synced_at":"2026-07-21T04:18:16.689075+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795"},"episode":{"title":"Should I stay or should I leave? (You're asking the wrong question)","slug":"should-i-stay-or-should-i-leave-you-re-asking-the-wrong-question","published_at":"2026-06-15T13:00:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795/should-i-stay-or-should-i-leave-you-re-asking-the-wrong-question","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795","url":"https://s.gum.fm/s-6750d39b27f9d571b5016e8c/claritaspod.com/measure/pscrb.fm/rss/p/rss.art19.com/episodes/548e9db8-694c-4ab8-802e-9e327948403d.mp3?rss_browser=BAhJIg90cmFuc2NyaWJyBjoGRVQ%3D--952c5701c84ad333c69d5faa668f8177091704f0","audio_url":"https://s.gum.fm/s-6750d39b27f9d571b5016e8c/claritaspod.com/measure/pscrb.fm/rss/p/rss.art19.com/episodes/548e9db8-694c-4ab8-802e-9e327948403d.mp3?rss_browser=BAhJIg90cmFuc2NyaWJyBjoGRVQ%3D--952c5701c84ad333c69d5faa668f8177091704f0","summary":"Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com After betrayal, almost every couple lands on the same question: should I stay or should I leave? In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura make the case that this is the wrong question, and the rush to answer it is one of the most damaging moves a couple can make in the aftermath of infidelity. Drawing from their own season in the valley, Carl and Laura get into why urgency is not wisdom, why most of what people call certainty after betrayal is really just desperation looking for relief, and why two unhealthy people making any decision (stay or leave) will end up carrying the same wound into whatever comes next. They explain why the first mission is not the marriage. The first mission is health. You'll hear Carl get blunt about the level of breakdown a man has to be in to break his vows, and why \"I made a mistake\" misses the whole road that led there. Laura speaks directly to the wives wondering if they should be alarmed at how quickly forgiveness is being asked for, the friendships that ended because she didn't leave, and why she still says space (legal or not) is almost always the right move. Together, they introduce the better questions, the ones nobody wants to ask first but everyone eventually needs to: am I safe, am I getting real help, am I confident I have the whole truth, and what would becoming healthier actually look like for me in the next 90 days? Stay for the line that may flip everything for you: unhealthy people can stay and unhealthy people can leave. Neither decision guarantees healing. The decision itself is not the cure. This is part one of a multi-part conversation. The next episode picks up where this one leaves off. Bring your questions. Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carl…","meta_description":"Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com After betrayal, almost every couple lands on the same question: should I stay or should I lea…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":1856,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795/episodes/should-i-stay-or-should-i-leave-you-re-asking-the-wrong-question/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795/should-i-stay-or-should-i-leave-you-re-asking-the-wrong-question.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}