{"podcast":{"title":"Good Morning Evildoers","slug":"good-morning-evildoers-7075544","podcast_index_feed_id":7075544,"rss_url":"https://feeds.captivate.fm/good-morning-evildoers/","website_url":"https://good-morning-evildoers.captivate.fm","image_url":"https://artwork.captivate.fm/84a44083-734a-44b4-b80f-18463162529e/y2pBViOlF7hZfRveAPFnhTdy.png","author":"Good Morning Evildoers","episode_count":26,"summary":"Greetings. Thank you for joining us. All of us here at Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC. welcome you and your delicious fluids to our podcast. Good Morning Evildoers is a twice-monthly comedy horror podcast hosted by Winifred, Head of HR for evil supercorp Global Synergy Amalgamated. Daily announcements at an evil organization have to cover things not commonly found at your average non-evil company. Moonbase transfer policies. Time travel accidents. Budget disputes between rival departments that end with necromancy or plutonium. Luckily, these daily communications are well-received. Because Winifred is going to need to rally the troops. Teams excavating the sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub basement at the primary Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC. lair are about to free an ancient Good of paralyzing banality. And it’s coming for everything that isn’t good for you. Sex. Drugs. Rock ‘n roll. Even oat milk lattes. So it’s time to fight the good fight — with some good, old-fashioned evil. Website: https://goodmorningevildoers.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodmorningevildoers/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/gmevildoers.bsky.social Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/goodmorningevildo…","last_synced_at":null,"page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/good-morning-evildoers-7075544"},"episode":{"title":"S1E9: Lunch & Lurk","slug":"s1e9-lunch-lurk","published_at":"2025-02-20T13:45:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/good-morning-evildoers-7075544/s1e9-lunch-lurk","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/good-morning-evildoers-7075544","url":"https://goodmorningevildoers.com","audio_url":"https://podcasts.captivate.fm/media/0183c5a8-c783-46be-9e70-444980a9a76e/S1E9Final.mp3","summary":"Good morning, Evildoers. Time for another productive day at Global Synergy Amalgamated! This is Winifred from HR with your daily announcements, and who’s thirsty? During an audit of the deep storage units in Sector 12, we discovered the remains of one of the most evil projects we ever launched. Oh, that was a good one. Massive media coverage. Psychological destabilization. High-fructose corn syrup. Not to mention the sheer aesthetic offense of the whole thing.  That’s right. You guessed it. We found several surviving pallets of New Coke! I know! How’s that for a blast from the past? Truly one of our most successful psyops that didn’t involve Freemasons. Now if you want some of this carbonated contraband — and who could blame you if you do? — we’ll be dividing them up and distributing them to all the breakrooms. First come, first serve, so no more than 4 12-packs per mouth, all right? And only mouths with tastebuds count. No pseudo-orifices or extra-dimensional abdominal portals. Have to save some for the humans among us. And speaking of humans, bless their singular hearts, I’m so tickled to see you all are having fun with the paranormal YouTubers again. Officially, Global Synergy Amalgamated’s position is that *cough cough* “We are a multinational company that provides consultation services across a variety of industries, and our social media policy requires employees to uphold the highest standards of professionalism.” Unofficially? You evildoers are cracking me up! I guess it’s true. We’re evil, not boring. Surprising no one, I’m especially tickled with the cryptid hunters. And I think it’s rather sweet they’re only trying to get pictures and footprints! Not that they’d have much of a chance against, say, Nessie, but the point stands. It’s sort of lovely. Someti…","meta_description":"Good morning, Evildoers. Time for another productive day at Global Synergy Amalgamated! This is Winifred from HR with your daily announcements, and who’s…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":490,"processing_state":"processed","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/good-morning-evildoers-7075544/episodes/s1e9-lunch-lurk/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/good-morning-evildoers-7075544/s1e9-lunch-lurk.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}