{"podcast":{"title":"Do As We Say, Not As They Did","slug":"do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812","podcast_index_feed_id":7726812,"rss_url":"https://feeds.libsyn.com/608340/rss","website_url":"https://sites.libsyn.com/608340","image_url":"https://static.libsyn.com/p/assets/0/6/e/7/06e76851652d7cc4d959afa2a1bf1c87/do_as_we_say_logo.png","author":"Harris O'Malley","episode_count":27,"summary":"An unfiltered dating podcast all about love, sex, relationships, and all the ways humans are sometimes really bad at them. Dr. NerdLove and Dr. Liz Powell break down what not do, and what actually works.","last_synced_at":"2026-09-16T22:18:24.014668+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812"},"episode":{"title":"Love or Control? AI Girlfriends, Consent, and Polyamory","slug":"love-or-control-ai-girlfriends-consent-and-polyamory","published_at":"2026-07-22T09:30:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/love-or-control-ai-girlfriends-consent-and-polyamory","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812","url":"https://bcddb042-54aa-4575-834d-8f65ebfb49f9.libsyn.com/love-or-control-ai-girlfriends-consent-and-polyamory","audio_url":"https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/bcddb042-54aa-4575-834d-8f65ebfb49f9/Ep_19_v2.mp3?dest-id=5300385","summary":"Is it better to be in a relationship where you're constantly contorting yourself to avoid saying \"no,\" or one where your partner can't say \"no\" at all? Trick question. The answer is neither. In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by author, educator, and longtime member of Philadelphia's polyamory community, Kevin Patterson. They read two stories that seem completely unrelated, but share the same uncomfortable truth: relationships stop being healthy when someone else's autonomy disappears. First, they dive into a spectacularly tangled Reddit post where a Dungeons and Dragons group has become a web of people-pleasing, poor communication, and emotional control. Then they discuss a Wired profile of Mystery (a pickup artist who rose to fame in the early 2000s) and his new AI girlfriend, exploring what it means to build intimacy with a partner who can never truly disagree. Prepare yourself for: Harris' 15 minutes of reality TV fame?!?! The D&D to poly pipeline How control can come from someone who acts like the victim The appeal (and danger) of a frictionless or only friction relationship The rise and fall of the early 2000s pickup scene Building an AI to train people into being better Healthy boundaries require honest \"yes's\" and \"no's\" From people-pleasing and emotional control to AI companions designed to agree with you, get ready for insightful takes about building healthy relationships that have boundaries, mutual respect, and a willingness to hear (and say) \"no.\" Who Is Kevin Patterson? Kevin Patterson is a member of the Philadelphia polyamory community. He's been practicing ethical nonmonogamy since August of 2002 after opening up a relationship that eventually became his marriage. Kevin's work focused on p…","meta_description":"Is it better to be in a relationship where you're constantly contorting yourself to avoid saying \"no,\" or one where your partner can't say \"no\" at all? Tr…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":5892,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/episodes/love-or-control-ai-girlfriends-consent-and-polyamory/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/love-or-control-ai-girlfriends-consent-and-polyamory.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}