{"podcast":{"title":"Dad Starting Over","slug":"dad-starting-over-1383563","podcast_index_feed_id":1383563,"rss_url":"https://feeds.transistor.fm/dad-starting-over","website_url":"https://helpformen.com","image_url":"https://img.transistorcdn.com/d-QRPjgB_AEpdBEsEn13LXnLWiP8dPISlalraupXo84/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:1400/h:1400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS84ODQ0/ODVhZDc4YzQ3OGQ4/MmQ3ZWNmOTBjZWVi/ZDVmZC5wbmc.jpg","author":"Dad Starting Over","episode_count":291,"summary":"Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! \"Starting Over\" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place. I'm Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books including \"The Dead Bedroom Fix\", \"Divorce Panic\", \"Real Talk\" \"Red Flags\" and \"REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man\". You can learn more about me, my books, one-on-one coaching, and the member-only part of my site called the Brotherhood at https://helpformen.com","last_synced_at":"2026-09-18T22:29:35.653584+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/dad-starting-over-1383563"},"episode":{"title":"She Wasn't Born Cold: Where Your Wife's Avoidance Really Comes From | Ralph & Cassie.","slug":"she-wasn-t-born-cold-where-your-wife-s-avoidance-really-comes-from-ralph-cassie","published_at":"2026-08-11T20:08:36+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/dad-starting-over-1383563/she-wasn-t-born-cold-where-your-wife-s-avoidance-really-comes-from-ralph-cassie","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/dad-starting-over-1383563","url":"https://share.transistor.fm/s/96c0ac10","audio_url":"https://p.podderapp.com/1545910633/media.transistor.fm/96c0ac10/ae0b6a88.mp3","summary":"New series, new co-host. Cassie (https://x.com/FutureDrSassy) is an occupational therapist, a researcher, and a certified pelvic floor therapist — and starting now, she and I are going to have the conversations about sex and intimacy that nobody had with any of us growing up. This first one starts where all of it starts: childhood. What you watched your parents do — the hand-holding, the date nights, the kisses in the kitchen, or the total absence of all of it — became your blueprint. So when Mr. Anxious does his research and figures out his wife is avoidant, my first question is always the same: what were her mom and dad like? And the answer is always the same, too. So I asked Cassie the question every guy in that spot is really asking: my wife is cold, her whole family is cold, she's agreed to work on it — is it realistic to think she ever becomes my sexy wife? Or am I asking for a personality transplant? Her answer is more hopeful than you'd expect and slower than you'd like. We get into why side-by-side beats eye-to-eye with an avoidant partner, why shared activities work when date nights don't, the bell curve of how long repair actually takes (hint: about as long as the damage took), and the question you have to answer honestly before you start: what does progress actually look like to you — and are you willing to wait for it? Then it gets heavier. What happens when therapy uncovers sexual abuse in her past — and why it shows up as everything from pain with intimacy to the opposite extreme. What stress does to the pelvic floor. Why oxytocin matters more, not less, as her hormones change. Why nurses statistically have more orgasms (really — it's a knowledge thing, and it proves the point of this whole series). And the part you guys won't love: how YOUR insecurity —…","meta_description":"New series, new co-host. Cassie (https://x.com/FutureDrSassy) is an occupational therapist, a researcher, and a certified pelvic floor therapist — and sta…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":3035,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/dad-starting-over-1383563/episodes/she-wasn-t-born-cold-where-your-wife-s-avoidance-really-comes-from-ralph-cassie/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/dad-starting-over-1383563/she-wasn-t-born-cold-where-your-wife-s-avoidance-really-comes-from-ralph-cassie.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}