{"podcast":{"title":"Clear Mountain Monastery Project","slug":"clear-mountain-monastery-project-3695945","podcast_index_feed_id":3695945,"rss_url":"https://feed.podbean.com/clearmountainmonastery/feed.xml","website_url":"https://www.clearmountainmonastery.org/","image_url":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/19513480/Logo_podcastcover_.jpg","author":"Clear Mountain Monastery","episode_count":100,"summary":"Dharma talks from monastics at Clear Mountain, an aspiring Buddhist Forest monastery in the greater Seattle area. The Forest Tradition represents a return to the simple way of life taught by the Buddha. Monastics aspire to live as the early disciples did: dwelling in the forest, studying the teachings, and devoting themselves to meditation. To learn more, visit https://wwww.clearmountainmonastery.org.","last_synced_at":null,"page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/clear-mountain-monastery-project-3695945"},"episode":{"title":"New & Ancient Rules of Relationship: Advice from a Therapist & Two Celibate Monks | Terry Real Q&A","slug":"new-ancient-rules-of-relationship-advice-from-a-therapist-two-celibate-monks-terry-real-q-a","published_at":"2026-05-14T15:59:55+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/clear-mountain-monastery-project-3695945/new-ancient-rules-of-relationship-advice-from-a-therapist-two-celibate-monks-terry-real-q-a","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/clear-mountain-monastery-project-3695945","url":"https://clearmountainmonastery.podbean.com/e/new-ancient-rules-of-relationship-advice-from-a-therapist-two-celibate-monks-terry-real-qa/","audio_url":"https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/j9pgr7ajvd07x7wv/yt_video_EwkMvtwr7s8_gcuhsk.mp3","summary":"In this session, Ajahn Kovilo and Ajahn Nisabho speak with Terry Real, therapist, author, and creator of Relational Life Therapy (RLT) (https://terryreal.com/).00:00:00 Introduction00:02:49 Coming out of the closet as a long-term meditator00:04:46 Three parts of the brain and the psyche in RLT00:05:42 Explaining the survival instincts of fight, flight, and fawn00:06:22 Defining the \"wounded child\" and the nature of trauma00:07:18 The role and function of the \"adaptive child\"00:08:40 How trauma triggers reactivity in current relationships00:11:41 The neurobiology of getting flooded and going offline00:12:48 Introducing the concept of \"relational mindfulness\"00:14:15 Moving from the reactive mind to the responsive mind00:16:43 The importance of performing trauma work with partners00:19:02 How the Buddhist Eightfold Path relates to reactivity00:19:26 Integrating spiritual friendship with the need for seclusion00:19:40 The framework and the \"Ten Commandments of Timeouts\"00:20:25 Skillful distance and the dance of intimacy00:21:20 Establishing healthy self-esteem and God-given worth00:22:50 Balancing abandonment wounds versus intrusion wounds00:25:31 Correcting the epistemological mistake of individualism00:26:49 Waking up to ecological wisdom and relationality00:30:01 A Zen story about treating others while \"saving the world\"00:32:02 Releasing conceit and the movement from me to we00:34:28 Common pairings of wounded and adaptive children00:35:13 The five losing strategies of the adaptive child00:36:59 Examples of how adaptive strategies reinforce each other00:38:04 A story of recovery and relational heroism regarding lying00:41:36 Understanding accountability and the \"second consciousness\"00:43:53 Distinguishing between blame, victimhood, and responsibility00:45:46 The ris…","meta_description":"In this session, Ajahn Kovilo and Ajahn Nisabho speak with Terry Real, therapist, author, and creator of Relational Life Therapy (RLT) (https://terryreal.…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":3508,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/clear-mountain-monastery-project-3695945/episodes/new-ancient-rules-of-relationship-advice-from-a-therapist-two-celibate-monks-terry-real-q-a/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/clear-mountain-monastery-project-3695945/new-ancient-rules-of-relationship-advice-from-a-therapist-two-celibate-monks-terry-real-q-a.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}