{"podcast":{"title":"Ask the Unfaithful","slug":"ask-the-unfaithful-7030282","podcast_index_feed_id":7030282,"rss_url":"https://feeds.libsyn.com/548157/rss","website_url":"https://sites.libsyn.com/548157","image_url":"https://static.libsyn.com/p/assets/b/7/b/a/b7ba3da7b2c2506527a2322813b393ee/AskTheUnfaithful2.jpg","author":"James & Sam","episode_count":73,"summary":"The Ask The Unfaithful Podcast, is a safe place for both Unfaithful and Betrayed Partners to find hope and healing. This podcast draws on both our personal and professional experience to provide expert insight into the mind of the Unfaithful, and how their behaviors traumatically affect the life, heart and even brain plasticity of Betrayed Partners. Ask the Unfaithful is hosted by two Unfaithfuls in long-term recovery, James and Sam: Therapist and coach James Annear who co-owns CORE Relationship Recovery with his wife, Sharon Rinearson. They have been helping couples recover from the traumatic impacts of infidelity, sexually compulsive behaviors and addiction for over a decade. Formerly with Affair Recovery and now host of Sam's Healing Podcast, Sam has been producing videos for almost 10 years and helping to care for those in crisis due to infidelity and addiction for almost 15 years.","last_synced_at":null,"page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/ask-the-unfaithful-7030282"},"episode":{"title":"ATU Shorts SE5: Helping the Unfaithful Move From \"Not It!\" to \"Got it!\"","slug":"atu-shorts-se5-helping-the-unfaithful-move-from-not-it-to-got-it","published_at":"2025-09-25T07:45:00+00:00","page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/ask-the-unfaithful-7030282/atu-shorts-se5-helping-the-unfaithful-move-from-not-it-to-got-it","show_page_url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/ask-the-unfaithful-7030282","url":"https://8e1106a8-3530-4552-a732-0917d7a3602f.libsyn.com/atu-shorts-se5-helping-the-unfaithful-move-from-not-it-to-got-it","audio_url":"https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/8e1106a8-3530-4552-a732-0917d7a3602f/S5_Helping_the_Unfaithful_Move_From_Not_It_to_.mp3?dest-id=4728192","summary":"On today's episode of \"Moving from Not It to Got It,\" Sam takes listeners on an honest journey through the pivotal moment when an unfaithful spouse chooses to stop deflecting and starts owning their actions. The episode opens by breaking down the psychological reality of the \"Not It\" phase—where self-protection, avoidance, and justification keep an individual stuck, unable to truly connect with their partner or heal the damage from infidelity. The reality is, \"Not It\" causes a significant amount of collateral damage including but certainly not limited to: blocking all forward progress minimizing and justifying the affair(s) blame shifting subconsciously expecting the betrayed partner to handhold the unfaithful into the most basic recovery work The heart of today's episode centers on what it takes to shift from \"Not It\" to \"Got It\" not only earning self respect but simultaneously the respect of the betrayed partner. This means facing the hard truths head-on and making the conscious choice to drop the defenses and problematic patterns which may have created the acting out in the first place. The transformation can be palpable: when an unfaithful spouse authentically claims responsibility, they lay the foundation for rebuilding trust, self-respect, and hope for their relationship. Note: This episode is educational, not therapy. Please reach out for professional guidance at AskTheUnfaithful@gmail.com to learn more about coaching or intensive options. ------ Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com Contact us: AskTheUnfaithful@gmail.com 🔗 Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or email Sam at SamsHealingPodcast@gmail.com 📬 Reach out: asktheunfaithful@gmail.com 🎧 Find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. Find James & Sharon at th…","meta_description":"On today's episode of \"Moving from Not It to Got It,\" Sam takes listeners on an honest journey through the pivotal moment when an unfaithful spouse choose…","key_points":[],"chapters":[],"topics":[],"duration_seconds":592,"processing_state":"not_requested","actions":[{"name":"request_transcript","method":"POST","url":"https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/ask-the-unfaithful-7030282/episodes/atu-shorts-se5-helping-the-unfaithful-move-from-not-it-to-got-it/transcription-requests","description":"Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode."},{"name":"read_markdown","method":"GET","url":"https://stenobird.com/podcast/ask-the-unfaithful-7030282/atu-shorts-se5-helping-the-unfaithful-move-from-not-it-to-got-it.md","description":"Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource."}]}}