# BONUS: How to stop Shoulds and Cannots shape your life?

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/you-re-wrong-about-adhd-6666764/bonus-how-to-stop-shoulds-and-cannots-shape-your-life
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/you-re-wrong-about-adhd-6666764/bonus-how-to-stop-shoulds-and-cannots-shape-your-life.md
Podcast: [You're Wrong About ADHD](https://stenobird.com/podcast/you-re-wrong-about-adhd-6666764)
Published: 2025-11-28T03:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://youre-wrong-about-adhd.captivate.fm
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/8f4c29ec-8339-43fe-a6c5-77650d78a672.mp3?aw_0_1st.showid=ddcd8f62-5e90-4fa0-a3af-75c443113e1b&aw_0_1st.episodeid=8f4c29ec-8339-43fe-a6c5-77650d78a672
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/you-re-wrong-about-adhd-6666764/episodes/bonus-how-to-stop-shoulds-and-cannots-shape-your-life
Duration seconds: 890

## Resource

In this bonus episode, Sam and Katie look back on their conversation with Aoife Hughes about the power of words and why the phrases we use around ADHD land so deeply. They explore how everyday language like should and cannot quietly shapes a sense of shame, why so many ADHDers freeze when they feel directed or judged, and how shifting to gentler wording can open up choice rather than pressure. Katie reflects on the expectations she absorbed from school reports and family conversations, while Sam talks about the moments he realised his own inner voice had copied the shoulds he heard from others. Together they look at how quickly those old phrases slip into self blame, what it takes to respond with curiosity instead of spiralling, and how returning to the simple question ‘what does my brain need’ can soften the whole experience. It is an open and encouraging look at how language builds either understanding or overwhelm, and how small adjustments in the words we offer ourselves can make daily life with ADHD feel more spacious and more possible. New episodes of You're Wrong About ADHD are available every Wednesday and Friday. Got a question or story for the team? Send it to ADHDpodcast@global.com You’re Wrong About ADHD is made in association with APX Content Ventures.

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## Transcript

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