# The Dark Side of My Mormon Mission | How Obedience Nearly Broke Me

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/welcome-to-the-weekly-mormonnewsroundup-where-al-dives-ruminate-on-the-great-and-spacious-beehive-5440377/the-dark-side-of-my-mormon-mission-how-obedience-nearly-broke-me
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/welcome-to-the-weekly-mormonnewsroundup-where-al-dives-ruminate-on-the-great-and-spacious-beehive-5440377/the-dark-side-of-my-mormon-mission-how-obedience-nearly-broke-me.md
Podcast: [Welcome to the MormonNewsRoundup where Dives ruminates on the great and spacious Beehive!](https://stenobird.com/podcast/welcome-to-the-weekly-mormonnewsroundup-where-al-dives-ruminate-on-the-great-and-spacious-beehive-5440377)
Published: 2026-05-14T01:15:00+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mormonnewsroundup/episodes/The-Dark-Side-of-My-Mormon-Mission--How-Obedience-Nearly-Broke-Me-e3ip5m8
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/8e53bf90/podcast/play/119362696/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-4-2%2F423302944-44100-2-56cc52db5851a.mp3
Processing state: not_requested
JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/welcome-to-the-weekly-mormonnewsroundup-where-al-dives-ruminate-on-the-great-and-spacious-beehive-5440377/episodes/the-dark-side-of-my-mormon-mission-how-obedience-nearly-broke-me
Duration seconds: 1495

## Resource

From 2009 to 2011, Kayden served as a Mormon missionary in Russia, believing that strict obedience was the path to heaven. Fifteen years later, after leaving the Church, he reflects on how that experience shaped his faith, sense of self, and relationships with his family.In this video, Kayden shares the pressures, doubts, and struggles he faced while trying to follow the rules, and how the pursuit of “heaven” caused him to lose himself—and how he eventually found his way back.Original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im4p0jjYGxw#ExMormon #MissionaryExperience #FaithDeconstruction #LeavingTheChurch #MentalHealthPlease consider making a donation by joining our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/MormonNewsRoundup Email: kolob@mormonnewsroundup.org Website: https://mormonnewsroundup.org/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mormonnewsroundup Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mormon_news_roundup/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100093511869924 X: https://twitter.com/NewsMormon New episodes LIVE every Sunday and Monday nights at 9:30PM ESTPlease like and subscribe and hit the notifications bell. Remember remember, no unhallowed hand can stop this podcast from progressing!The Mormon News Roundup is NOT affilated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

## Actions

- request_transcript: `POST https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/welcome-to-the-weekly-mormonnewsroundup-where-al-dives-ruminate-on-the-great-and-spacious-beehive-5440377/episodes/the-dark-side-of-my-mormon-mission-how-obedience-nearly-broke-me/transcription-requests` — Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode.
- read_markdown: `GET https://stenobird.com/podcast/welcome-to-the-weekly-mormonnewsroundup-where-al-dives-ruminate-on-the-great-and-spacious-beehive-5440377/the-dark-side-of-my-mormon-mission-how-obedience-nearly-broke-me.md` — Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource.

A page view does not enqueue transcription. Agents should invoke `request_transcript` explicitly when they need this episode processed.

## Transcript

Full transcripts are not published on public pages unless there is a clear rights basis.