# Navigating Anxious Attachment: Valerie Rubin's Journey from Pain to Empowerment

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/unspoken-emotions-7351402/navigating-anxious-attachment-valerie-rubin-s-journey-from-pain-to-empowerment
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/unspoken-emotions-7351402/navigating-anxious-attachment-valerie-rubin-s-journey-from-pain-to-empowerment.md
Podcast: [Unspoken Emotions](https://stenobird.com/podcast/unspoken-emotions-7351402)
Published: 2026-01-13T00:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://traffic.megaphone.fm/USVL1061569348.mp3
Audio file: https://traffic.megaphone.fm/USVL1061569348.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/unspoken-emotions-7351402/episodes/navigating-anxious-attachment-valerie-rubin-s-journey-from-pain-to-empowerment
Duration seconds: 3061

## Resource

In this episode, Rachel engages in a heartfelt conversation with Valerie Rubin, an attachment specialist with an anxious style and a trauma-informed somatic coach. Valerie shares her personal journey of navigating anxious attachment, chronic pain, and the complexities of relationships with emotionally unavailable partners. KEY TAKEAWAYS Anxious Attachment is Common: Approximately 50% of people in the United States struggle with anxious attachment, yet many feel isolated in their experiences. Healing is a Journey: Healing from anxious attachment is not a linear process and does not mean being completely "healed." It involves understanding and addressing deep-rooted patterns, often linked to childhood experiences and trauma. Body and Mind Connection: Anxious attachment manifests physically in the body, leading to issues such as chronic pain and anxiety. Healing requires addressing both the mind and body, utilizing techniques like somatic therapy and vagus nerve stimulation to create a sense of safety. Choosing Yourself: Choosing oneself involves setting boundaries and recognizing one's needs. It can feel uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing, especially after a lifetime of prioritizing connection with others over self-care. Compassion and Patience: It's essential to practice self-compassion and patience throughout the healing process. Acknowledging that feelings of anxiety and fear are normal and that growth takes time is crucial for developing a healthier relationship with oneself and others. BEST MOMENTS "People carry so much shame and feel like something is wrong with me because they struggle with having an anxious attachment or feeling pulled toward people they know aren't good for them." "Anxious attachment is literally just a symptom of the dysregulation in your body.…

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## Transcript

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