# 499. Coaching Hotline: Explaining Divorce to Your Kids & When People-Pleasing Kills Real Connection

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/unf-ck-your-brain-feminist-self-help-for-everyone-223312/499-coaching-hotline-explaining-divorce-to-your-kids-when-people-pleasing-kills-real-connection
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/unf-ck-your-brain-feminist-self-help-for-everyone-223312/499-coaching-hotline-explaining-divorce-to-your-kids-when-people-pleasing-kills-real-connection.md
Podcast: [UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone](https://stenobird.com/podcast/unf-ck-your-brain-feminist-self-help-for-everyone-223312)
Published: 2026-06-09T05:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/explaining-divorce-kids-people-pleasing/
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/6ec28baf-c7fe-455b-9939-c17ed46066ef.mp3
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Duration seconds: 708

## Resource

Divorce can be overwhelming, especially when you are trying to figure out how to explain it to your children. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about the first stage of divorce, talking about it with her kids, and why starting with your thoughts and feelings, not just actions, is what makes the next steps clear. I also tackle a question about people-pleasing and seeking external validation. You'll hear why prioritizing other people’s needs over your own can feel like love and connection, but it actually undermines your authenticity, and how to cultivate genuine connection instead. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/499 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

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## Transcript

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