# 479. Coaching Hotline: How to Say No When You Fear Being Rude & When You Can't Change Your Thoughts Yet

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/unf-ck-your-brain-feminist-self-help-for-everyone-223312/479-coaching-hotline-how-to-say-no-when-you-fear-being-rude-when-you-can-t-change-your-thoughts-yet
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/unf-ck-your-brain-feminist-self-help-for-everyone-223312/479-coaching-hotline-how-to-say-no-when-you-fear-being-rude-when-you-can-t-change-your-thoughts-yet.md
Podcast: [UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone](https://stenobird.com/podcast/unf-ck-your-brain-feminist-self-help-for-everyone-223312)
Published: 2026-03-31T05:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/how-to-say-no-when-you-fear-being-rude/
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/f77a0967-cb94-4b47-a23f-3f108bfa18db.mp3
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Duration seconds: 1021

## Resource

Do you worry that saying no makes you rude, selfish, or a bad person? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I break down why what you’ve been taught to call “politeness” is often just people pleasing in disguise, and how that conditioning keeps you stuck in self doubt. Then I answer a question I hear all the time in different forms, what do you do when you understand thought work but you still can’t change your thoughts? I explain why you are not missing a tool, why nothing has gone wrong, and why this frustrating in between stage is actually a normal and necessary part of the process. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/479 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: FREE GUIDE: The Top Three Things I Wish I Had Known Before Becoming A Coach The world needs coaches. The world needs our work. The world needs your specific perspective, your experiences, your special sauce. Even if you don’t know that yet, I do. And I want to help you get there. Download this guide at https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/threethings Click here to download: 3 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Life Coach

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