# Best of To Be and Do: Lessons in Grief A Father’s Story of Faith Amid Tragedy with Tom Heaton

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/to-be-and-do-with-philip-amerson-7105720/best-of-to-be-and-do-lessons-in-grief-a-father-s-story-of-faith-amid-tragedy-with-tom-heaton
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/to-be-and-do-with-philip-amerson-7105720/best-of-to-be-and-do-lessons-in-grief-a-father-s-story-of-faith-amid-tragedy-with-tom-heaton.md
Podcast: ["To Be And Do" with Philip Amerson](https://stenobird.com/podcast/to-be-and-do-with-philip-amerson-7105720)
Published: 2026-07-24T10:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://belonging-exchange.captivate.fm/episode/best-of-to-be-and-do-
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/73e4c60d-499f-49f0-8c18-7bcec16c97cf.mp3
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Duration seconds: 1416

## Resource

Best of To Be and Do: In this deeply moving episode, Philip Amerson welcomes Tom Heaton for a candid and vulnerable conversation on grief, faith, and the abiding power of human connection. Tom Heaton, a pastor, blogger, and humanitarian, shares the tragic experiences of losing both of his sons, Jose and Manny, to acts of violence. The episode explores his responses not just as a father but also as a Christian and a pastor, and what these experiences have taught him about God, prayer, and being present for others during times of unspeakable pain. Listeners are guided into a discussion that goes well beyond personal sorrow and toward a broader conversation on theology, community, and finding hope when faced with life's harshest realities. Three Key Takeaways 1. The Transformative Power of Presence Tom Heaton reflects on how, even in the deepest moments of grief, the presence and care of others—friends, colleagues, even unexpected individuals like Detective Trent Stinson—became tangible manifestations of God’s love and comfort (08:02). Rather than theological answers or empty reassurances, it was “God's warm embrace” through community that helped him hold on in his darkest hours. 2. Redefining Prayer and God’s Role in Suffering Tom Heaton shares an evolution in his understanding of God and prayer. He rejects the notion of a "puppet master" God who controls every event, emphasizing instead a God who is always present with us, who “cries with us” in pain (12:15). Prayer, for Tom Heaton, becomes less about asking for intervention and more about being present with the divine presence that remains steadfast through suffering and loss. 3. The Importance of Honest and Compassionate Theology Both Philip Emerson and Tom Heaton critique "bad theology" that tries to offer quick or s…

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