# How to Deal with Your ____ So Your Kids Don’t Have To with Eli Harwood

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/three-percent-7209360/how-to-deal-with-your-so-your-kids-don-t-have-to-with-eli-harwood
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/three-percent-7209360/how-to-deal-with-your-so-your-kids-don-t-have-to-with-eli-harwood.md
Podcast: [Three Percent](https://stenobird.com/podcast/three-percent-7209360)
Published: 2026-04-13T06:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://traffic.megaphone.fm/AMPH2924896082.mp3
Audio file: https://traffic.megaphone.fm/AMPH2924896082.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/three-percent-7209360/episodes/how-to-deal-with-your-so-your-kids-don-t-have-to-with-eli-harwood
Duration seconds: 2817

## Resource

What if the way you respond to your kids has less to do with them—and more to do with what’s unresolved in you? In this conversation, Eli Harwood (aka “Attachment Nerd”) helps us see how our childhood experiences quietly shape the way we parent, relate, and react. From parentification and emotional neglect to people-pleasing and control, she unpacks how the patterns we learned early on don’t just disappear—they show up in our homes today. But this isn’t about becoming a perfect parent. It’s about becoming an aware one. Eli shares a hopeful vision of what it looks like to acknowledge your story, take responsibility for your growth, and create relationships where your kids feel safe, seen, and supported—even when you get it wrong. If you’re a parent, want to be a parent, or are still working through your own story, this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath your reactions—and how to start showing up differently. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why your reactions as a parent often come from unresolved parts of your own story The difference between a “right-side up” and “upside-down” parent-child relationship How parentification shapes your ability to give and receive care Why secure parenting isn’t about perfection—but repair and consistency What your emotional triggers with your kids are trying to show you How doing your own work creates safety for your children CHAPTERS (00:00) Why no parent is perfect(02:00) Introducing Eli Harwood (“Attachment Nerd”)(04:00) Growing up in a family shaped by trauma(08:30) A mother who chose to break the cycle(12:00) Why attachment changes everything in therapy(16:00) What is a parentified child?(20:00) “I don’t emotionally rely—I emotionally supply”(24:00) Why receiving care is so hard(28:00) How attachment patterns show up in m…

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## Transcript

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