# 410: What if your mother tried to kill you?

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/this-is-actually-happening-314652/410-what-if-your-mother-tried-to-kill-you
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/this-is-actually-happening-314652/410-what-if-your-mother-tried-to-kill-you.md
Podcast: [This Is Actually Happening](https://stenobird.com/podcast/this-is-actually-happening-314652)
Published: 2026-06-09T07:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/rss.art19.com/episodes/2f54146b-7601-45bf-9f24-fb67f219f663.mp3?rss_browser=BAhJIg90cmFuc2NyaWJyBjoGRVQ%3D--952c5701c84ad333c69d5faa668f8177091704f0
Audio file: https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/rss.art19.com/episodes/2f54146b-7601-45bf-9f24-fb67f219f663.mp3?rss_browser=BAhJIg90cmFuc2NyaWJyBjoGRVQ%3D--952c5701c84ad333c69d5faa668f8177091704f0
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/this-is-actually-happening-314652/episodes/410-what-if-your-mother-tried-to-kill-you
Duration seconds: 4445

## Resource

After surviving a childhood where love meant saving his mother from the ravages of schizophrenia, a man spends decades trying to outrun the self he lost, until one final visit forces him to face what was never his to fix.    Today’s episode featured Johnathan Koller. Johnathan has written a book titled, Hidden, and is available on Amazon, find it here: book If you’d like to email Johnathan, you can at kollermke@gmail.com.  Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits    Content/Trigger Warnings: child abuse, childhood neglect, child sexual abuse, coercive parenting, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, parentification, mental illness, schizophrenia, paranoid delusions, PTSD, alcoholism, suicidal threats, staged suicide, self-harm, body shaming, family estrangement, grief, death of a parent., explicit language   Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Twitter/X: @TIAHPodcast Facebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group   Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com   Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com   Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit Audible.com.  Read more about Whit’s insights into each episode on Beyond The Story Substack: whitmissildine.substack.com. On the Substack, Whit will be sharing personal reflections on the deeper themes that emerge from each episode and from across the conversations he’s been immersed in for years, including the psychology of radical transformation, the power of storytelling, the lessons of trauma and healing, and how we die to an old Self and are reborn. He’ll share behind-the-scenes glimpse…

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