# 7: 7 Parenting Plan Clauses That Will Screw You Over

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/7-7-parenting-plan-clauses-that-will-screw-you-over
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/7-7-parenting-plan-clauses-that-will-screw-you-over.md
Podcast: [The Ugly Truth of Divorce](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600)
Published: 2026-02-26T10:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://audioboom.com/posts/8863855
Audio file: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/audioboom.com/posts/8863855.mp3?modified=1771918858&sid=5166049&source=rss
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/episodes/7-7-parenting-plan-clauses-that-will-screw-you-over
Duration seconds: 1266

## Resource

Welcome to the episode that's gonna save you years of hell. If you're here, you're either in a high conflict situation or you're smart enough to prepare for one. And that means the "standard" parenting plan your lawyer's pushing? It's not gonna cut it. Here's what most people don't understand: Parenting plans written for cooperative co-parents become WEAPONS when you're dealing with high conflict. The same clauses that help reasonable people communicate become tools for abuse, surveillance, and control. And nobody tells you this until it's too late. In this episode, you'll learn: The 7 most dangerous clauses for high conflict situations: Right of first refusal (surveillance disguised as co-parenting) Shared calendars (unpaid labor for your abuser) Same-day split holidays (childhood anxiety generator) Shared birthdays (forcing kids to choose personalities) Vague exchange information (lawyer fee goldmine) Mandatory phone calls (investigation and coaching sessions) Undefined extra expenses (financial abuse on repeat) Why each one fails in high conflict - not just my opinion, but 18 years of real-world evidence What to do instead - how to protect yourself without these clauses How to evaluate ANY clause - the glasses exercise that changes everything This is strategic planning, not paranoia. High conflict people don't follow rules, respect boundaries, or play fair. Your parenting plan needs to account for that reality. Your lawyer will tell you I'm being extreme. Your friends who had "easy" divorces will think you're overthinking it. But you're not dealing with reasonable people. And that changes everything. Ready to build a plan that actually protects you? Start by removing these seven things. Then we'll talk about what TO include. Here’s What You Can Actually Take Away: S…

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